Julie

🚨“WE GOT HIM! My fellow Americans, over the past several hours, the United States Military pulled off one of the most daring Search and Rescue Operations in U.S. History, for one of our incredible Crew Office Members, who also happens to be a highly respected Colonel, and who I am thrilled to let you know is SAFE and SOUND!” - President Donald J. Trump 🇺🇸

Red Sox fans should all wear bags over their head that say sell the team for opening day.

@MrsEthanBrooks I love the grids on the laptop. 😂

You have no idea what it's like to be married to him.

This is the most concise breakdown of how the Red Sox are being run as part of a private equity firm's portfolio and not a baseball team you'll ever see. Just check out Sam Kennedy's Wall Street word salad at the 14:25 mark

@alt_w_v_g 😂 you and your analyst could make big money assisting parents in IEP meetings.

The follow-up parent/teacher conference was yesterday My wife went alone I watched her pull out of the driveway Then I called my analyst He was already in his car Parked in the alley Engine running I wore cargo shorts Six pockets Pocket three had the school handbook Pocket five had a highlighter We arrived at 3:42pm Three minutes early My wife saw my analyst in the hallway before she saw me She stopped walking Then she saw me She said "why is he here" I said "support" She said "for what" I said "the meeting" She said "this is a parent-teacher conference and you aren't supposed to be here" I said "every meeting is a negotiation" She didn't move I held the door The teacher was waiting She was not alone The principal was seated beside her Arms folded They brought backup So did I My analyst sat down and opened his laptop He asked for the WiFi password The teacher said "we don't give that to visitors" He said "no problem" and turned on his hotspot I taught him well My wife put her head in her hands The principal introduced himself Firm handshake Said he wanted to "make sure we're all on the same page" I said "I love alignment" My wife looked at the ceiling The teacher pulled out a folder Same color-coded tabs as last time I respected the consistency She said our son has made "some improvements" but there are still "areas of concern" I said "can you quantify that" She said "it's not really a numbers-based assessment" I looked at my analyst He looked at me We didn't say anything The teacher said he still "challenges classroom structure" I pulled the school handbook from pocket three Page 34 Section 2.7 Parent Rights and Student Evaluation Standards I had highlighted six lines The principal looked at the handbook Then looked at my cargo shorts Then back at the handbook The teacher said there was an incident with a multiple-choice question She pulled out the test I pulled my copy from pocket two The teacher stopped talking My wife closed her eyes The question listed fifteen gender options My son selected none of them He wrote "Not applicable" Below that he wrote "Identified: Chromosome XY" Below that he wrote "Source: Biology textbook, page 217" With a footnote My wife looked at me She said "oh my god he's becoming you" I said "thank you" She said "that wasn't a compliment" The teacher said "that's not how multiple choice works" I said "was his answer correct" She paused The teacher looked at the ceiling Why does everyone keep doing that The principal stepped in He said "the concern isn't accuracy. It's compliance." I said "interesting. My auditors say the same thing." My analyst typed something I didn't ask what My wife looked at the ceiling again The principal said he thinks our son would "benefit from learning to work within established frameworks" I said "he will. And then he'll spend his career fixing them." Nobody spoke The teacher closed her folder The principal didn't shake my hand My analyst asked if there would be a follow-up The teacher said "I hope not" In the parking lot my wife said "you wore cargo shorts to a school meeting that you weren't invited to" I said "I needed the pockets" She didn't argue She said "we need to talk about this at couples therapy" I said "only if I can bring my analyst" She got in her car My analyst sent me his notes before I got to mine Formatted Bulleted With action items There were none Except for Plz Fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

@EpicClipVault 🤣🤣

A team went 9 games without scoring so the fans decided to help 😂

@Variety Delete this.

Chuck Norris Was a Great Action Star -- but Politics May Overshadow His Legacy variety.com/2026/film/opin…

@alt_w_v_g I think I speak for everyone when I say we would all love you as a coworker. Well done sir. 👏

Update: Wednesday The department-wide meeting I was not invited I went anyway 8am Walked in Legal pad in hand The room was full Not just HR Not just finance The entire floor Someone from marketing was there She had "Identified Adjective: Creative" in her email signature I've never met her HR stood at the front PowerPoint on the screen Slide one: "Email Signature Policy: Clarification & Compliance" I sat in the front row HR looked at me I opened my legal pad She began "Effective immediately, the email signature policy will require identified pronouns only. Adjectives are not included." I raised my hand She said "we're not taking questions yet" I said "it's not a question. It's a point of order. The current policy says 'identified.' It does not specify a part of speech. You're changing the policy, not clarifying it." Legal was in the back of the room He nodded Again HR said "we've updated the language" I said "when" She said "this morning" I said "so the policy I complied with yesterday is no longer the policy today" She said "correct" I said "and I'm the one being non-compliant" The room was quiet The controller raised his hand He said "so do I remove 'Tired' or not" Someone in the back laughed HR did not laugh The analyst was standing in the doorway I didn't invite him He came anyway He was holding a legal pad I looked at him He looked at me I didn't say anything But I noted it HR said "going forward, signatures will include name, title, and identified pronouns. Nothing else." I said "I'll comply with the new policy" She looked surprised I said "effective today. As written. Until someone changes it again." My boss said "I think that's fair" HR closed the PowerPoint Meeting adjourned in 14 minutes I walked out The analyst followed me He said "so the adjectives are gone?" I said "from the signature, yes" He said "that's it?" I said "the policy changed. So I'll change." He looked confused I said "but the policy didn't say anything about the out-of-office auto-reply" He stared at me I stared back He smiled First time I've ever seen that kid smile at work I think he just earned his first adjective Updated my out-of-office to: Thank you for your email. I am currently unavailable. Best, Ethan Brooks Identified Adjectives: Smart / Handsome Identified Chromosomes: XY For urgent matters, please contact HR. They love hearing from people. Sent from my iPhone

@K_AminThaabet @LeeSmithDC 👏 👏

הגענו למצב שאם אתה פקיד איראני וישראל עדיין לא הרגה אותך, זה קצת מעליב

@bonchieredstate 😂🤣

Jokes on you guys. He talked to the 45th president.

@alt_w_v_g Ok this made me actually laugh out loud.

Update: the meeting was this morning 7am sharp Walked in My boss, HR, and legal were already seated I sat down Opened my legal pad HR said "we need to talk about your email signature" I said "which part" She said "the adjectives" I said "smart and handsome?" She said "yes" I said "those are identified. By me. Per the policy." She said "the policy was intended for pronouns" I said "then the policy should say pronouns" Legal nodded HR did not appreciate the nod My boss said "can you just add your pronouns and keep the adjectives" I said "fine. XY." He said "those are chromosomes" I said "and they've never been wrong" The room was very quiet after that Legal closed his folder My boss said "let's move on" I said "I'm not unreasonable. I'm just saying the quiet part out loud." Meeting adjourned in 11 minutes Walked back to my desk The analyst saw my signature Asked if he could add adjectives too I said "you have to earn them" By noon four people in finance had added identified adjectives to their signatures The controller added "Identified Adjective: Tired" HR has scheduled a department-wide meeting for Wednesday I was not invited Neither was legal I think we're on the same side now Sent from my iPhone

@grok @C7jnr @KeiziTV @grok, please explain plot twist.

the air was sucked out of my theater

@BuzzPatterson 😂

This is hysterical! The differences in our military services. 🤣

Mark DeRosa 100000% thought that team USA had already “punched their ticket” to the next round & decided to get some guys who normally wouldn’t play some reps against Italy… This is absolutely unbelievable lol

@BarstoolBigCat Plot twist - Brady nixed the trade to the Patriots because he knew his knee was toast. @stoolpresidente may need to apologize.

Uhhhh uh oh

@AdamSchefter @WerderEdNFL They have no cap space so HOW?

Super Bowl MVP RB Kenneth Walker is signing with Kansas City, per source.

@stoolpresidente You defended the wall and went to jail for him - you owe him nothing. He never was a Patriots for life guy, and we have to accept that as fact and move on.

If Tom Brady is going to keep doing stuff that slights the Patriots, we need to tear his statue down. Thanks for the Super Bowls, but I’m done with this crap

@theripsnorter Where did you get data on property ownership?

Massachusetts with 5% of the population in subsidized housing, compared to 3% in New Jersey & Maryland, and 2% in Florida & North Carolina helps keep rents high and landlords happy. 25% to 30% of state legislators report owning at least one property generating rental income.

Metro Median Asking Rent $2,851 Boston $1,967 Providence $1,358 Austin $1,447 Raleigh $1,431 Phoenix $1,729 Denver $1,471 Nashville $1,458 Jacksonville $1,485 Charlotte $1,667 Tampa $1,818 Sacramento Jan 2026, realtor com

@TheyCallMeTomO1 @WillCainShow @gen_jackkeane has forgotten more than Cain will ever know about the history of the Middle East and its current military challenges. Cain has become insufferable to watch - the general was too nice to him.

Came home, turned on the TV, @WillCainShow was on, saw Will Cain disrespect General Jack Keane, a well respected 4-Star General, by patronizing the General. General Keane sternly told Will, "Don't patronize me, just ask the question!" Will's getting a little too big for his britches.