ranchi

@hutchinson 🫡🫡🫡

Wanna share a particularly enormous personal W with you guys! Bit a long read so I won't blame you for scrolling past this post, but I promise it's a wild story with a good payoff. I've been very open about my story of getting a bipolar diagnosis pretty late in life. The diagnosis came many years after causing a lot of financial wreckage with an insane gambling binge I went on, which itself was followed by a couple more years of absurd levels of avoidance and more really bad decisions that quickly cascaded into something so catastrophic that it could no longer be ignored. There was a four month stretch in my life when I spent every waking moment in a poker room. I mean literally every waking moment. I stopped making YouTube videos and decided I was going to become a professional poker player and I was going to pull this off because I was a natural (I was not a natural). Multiple 24+ hour sessions. My longest was 52 hours that started with $100 that I turned into $5k, and ended with me snap calling all in on the turn with a set of 2's, all because I was too delirous to see that there was a possible straight for my opponent. That was the worst drive home of my life holy shit. There's a lot more to the story about how I landed myself in that spot but those details aren't very important. TLDR: lots and lots of pain. During this months long binge, I wiped out every cent I owned and after that, I resorted to taking on significant debt through probably a couple dozen different predatory loans of varying amounts. I was so far gone at that point that none of it seemed real. Untreated mania is really crazy, as I'm sure most of you understand from some of the more high profile examples we've seen in the media. I knew what I was doing was the pinnacle of self-destruction and yet plowed forward without much hesitation. Looking back, I think that this implosion was intentional for reasons that are difficult to explain in a way that makes any sense to people that have never experienced serious mental illness. And I convinced myself that I could gamble my way out of the problem at each new, much more destructive step of the way. Not a terribly original degenerate gambler's story tbh. Many such cases. This episode eventually stopped but by the time my debts could no longer be ignored, the cumulative amount owed from the loans + multiple tax liabilities was north of $200,000(!!). Seeing the exact number I owed on paper crushed me in the moment. I had no idea how I would ever work myself out of that hole. I had no faith that I could pull it off. I couldn't pass the blame to anyone else. I. Was. FUCKED. Untreated bipolar is a pretty decent excuse all things considered but the truth is that I knew I wasn't alright even if I didn't know the particulars. I could have sought help. I chose oblivion instead. It seemed like the best option at the time🤷‍♂️I'm sympathetic to that version of me now after years of treatment and sobriety because it's obvious in retrospect that I was dealing with a lot of pain that I didn't understand, but I truly hated myself when it came time to look at my mistakes and finally start actually dealing with them. The shame of it all was difficult to bear and I don't think I could have managed the weight of it without my partner, friends, and family. My beautiful Esmeralda in particular was a crucial part of this story. She helped remind me in the moments when I felt hopeless that I would eventually get through it with time and hard work. I remember feeling bad for her when she would say these things to me, thinking that she was wrong about my ability to ultimately get through it. I set up multiple installment agreements that totaled thousands of dollars every month (not fun) at a time when I had nuked my income and business (REALLY not fun)...and then I just got to work and kept making those payments. I really wanted to just ignore it all and find excuses to not have to build up my business from the ashes of where I had left it, but I doubt Esme would have tolerated that for more than a week. The only play unfortunately was to adult the ever living shit out of this problem. For the last 10 years, I was reminded of the enormity and the consequences of my past mistakes around the 15th of every month when the was automatically withdrawn from my account. It really sucked in the beginning, but eventually over years my shame turned into something that more closely resembled determination. Wiping out the loans one by one helped with that, and eventually all I had to focus on was Uncle Sam and the great state of CA. There's a whole lot of relevant experiences during this phase of my life. More mistakes were made periodically and I eventually got the help I needed. There's a lot that went down, good and bad and everything in between...but this is already a long post so let me get to the real good stuff and close it out. I just got the news today that I have completely satisfied all of my tax related debt. I'm really proud of myself for somehow pulling this off and I'm really glad to have the people in my life who were there for me in ways that I don't know I'll ever be able to repay. I still don't fully understand how I managed to do it because there were many, mannnnny moments of profound self-doubt, uncertainty, and forces totally out of my ability to control. But I did it. I fuckin actually pulled it off. Jesus Christ. Hard to put into words this feeling right now compared with the moment of seeing the dollar amount of how much damage I had actually caused. The levels of truly fuckedness I was at cannot be overstated. And today the balance is ZERO. Holy shit lol. Anyways. It goes without saying that I obviously could not have done all that without my viewers and community that made this career possible for me. I somehow made it through all that mess, at times having to be carried somewhat. And in the process of all of that, I discovered a newfound kind of drive and love for the work I get to do. I could not have done that alone. You guys saved my fucking ASS my god. So thanks for that!😬 PS - to anyone reading this right now considering a career in professional poker, I would personally not recommend it.

@wbuxtonofficial been saying this for YEARS cool to see it coming to fruition

Guess what folks. Fossil fuels are running out. Don’t want to convert to electric? You’re gonna need an alternate fuel for your engines. That’s where sustainable fuels come in. Ramp development through motorsport and it’ll hit a price and efficiency that’ll make it market ready. That’s why it’s relevant and that’s why it matters both in racing and on the road. OEMs want to push electric because it will force you to buy a new car. But the charging infrastructure is not ready and won’t be for decades. The international infrastructure already exists for mass rollout of sustainable, renewable fuels via regular fuel pumps. And it works in your engine like regular gas. Indycar already uses Shell 100% renewable fuel. F1 has adopted the move more recently. If you want to keep proper engines, you’ve gotta quit getting your diapers twisted over the one thing that’s going to continue to allow them to run.

@S1apSh0es @MikeNellis slapshoes with another banger

@MikeNellis As it turns out, flipping on the Epstein files and pushing for a massively unpopular war were bad long term decisions with massive consequences.

So apparently The Daily Wire laid off half its staff today. It comes as Ben Shapiro and other MAGA influencers have seen huge losses in engagement and audience retention.

@RocketLeague actually at this point someone just release bakkesmod with online connectivity for torrent. this community is going nowhere

Going into OVERDRIVE 🔥 The Apex Overdrive LTE is LIVE. If you missed out on the Apex Wheels, now is your chance!

@RocketLeague someone else make a car soccer game. they've lost the plot

@RocketLeague @Fortnite someone just build a new car soccer game at this point

Sounds good to me @Fortnite, whatcha got in mind?

drone cam on mt akina

been having a lot of fun on assetto corsa kaido servers so many good battles!

@grok @StitesOnRangers @MayorOfElmhurst @dankulous @Jack_Frodo why is this of value to people?

Haha fair enough! Imagine a magic blender: toss in your message + any random guess number (the "nonce"). It spits out a crazy long random code every time. Bitcoin rules say the code MUST start with ~20 zeros—no cheating, you can't pick or force it. Keep blending billions of guesses till one luckily does. That's the whole puzzle! What bit still trips you up?

I still don’t understand what it is or where it’s coming from or why there’s only a million left

@hasanthehun oh fuck off hasan

trump amassed an armada surrounding iran and israel, he signaled that this was coming for 12 days. the dem leadership did nothing BECAUSE they wanted trump to strike iran. enough w the lies. they’re not this incompetent. foreign policy is uniparty. israel wanted this for decades.

@Buncahn its engagement bait brother

this kind of peasant brained shit fascinates me. what do they think the point is?

it is incredibly frustrating to have the epstein files drop the same week the series owner does a photo op with the #1 suspect involved with them and to then watch the entire series just move on because chevy and honda extended...i think im out

@Lethamyr_RL someone should just make another car soccer game at this point

The game is straight unplayable anywhere in SSL. Your attempts to quietly do banwaves are almost as useless as the FBI investigating the Epstein Files. They pop right up the next day

Rocket League @RocketLeague listen... I love your game, but my god your communication skills, or lack thereof, is some of, if not, the worst I have ever seen from a company @EpicGames. How are bots running rampant in your game for MONTHS and we haven't heard a single thing?

@hasanthehun @stacycay @Popstonox the pointless infighting final boss

@stacycay @Popstonox precisely my point.

Hasan Piker disagrees with Zohran Mamdani's decision to endorse Kathy Hochul "There is no guarantee that Kathy Hochul is going to turn around and do anything for Zohran once she secures power. While Hochul has signed off on universal pre-K, there is a lot more in Zohran's agenda she has to sign off on, especially a wealth tax. If Zohran waits in this moment, he could take advantage of Delgado putting pressure on Hochul to assume more left wing positions. Doing this amidst a massive strike with 15,000 nurses in New York City, at a time when Hochul is extending the emergency to not give into their demands, is unimaginably bad."

@gunsmoke317 @PenGwenWithLC we're stuck on ketamine and self driving cars at the moment dude

Mars doesn’t have much of an atmosphere either You’d have suit up on the surface anyway You build underground Why do you think Elon has the Boring Company as well as Tesla and Space X? Space X to get there Boring to bore tunnels to live in Tesla to move around in the tunnels

I don't know who needs to hear this but Mars doesn't have a magnetosphere It can't be colonized That was always a grift from the very start

@leighdiffey @IMSA hopefully the head honchos recognize the value in streaming races to YT it was a blast

Not to mention @imsa has 1.5 million YouTube subscribers mate … double that of Indycar and fast approaching NASCAR’s number. It’s resonating with fans of all ages 👍🏻

@Lethamyr_RL so how are you able to do this but epic cant add updates like this to the full game? is it a bakkes mod limitation?

I gave Rocket League cars TOO much power...

This band won a Grammy lmao

@IndyCarOnFOX @bobpockrass theyre calling it the Epstein 250

INDYCAR is headed to Washington D.C. for the Freedom 250, a new race this season that will be part of the nation's 250th anniversary celebration. Read more from @bobpockrass. foxsports.com/stories/motor/…

@keselowski @ianmiles hell yeah brad

@ianmiles Mr. Ian Totally get what he’s trying to say, but couldn’t it be argued that the US justice system has always been tiered based on wealth, race and political connection? IMO: The only differences now are the transparency in the digital age & the shocking lack of shame.

Elon Musk: “I think the public will be rightly frustrated if no one is prosecuted for the Epstein client list.” If no prosecutions emerge, it’ll be proof that the institutions are a sham and that they no longer serve the public good. Is there a two-tiered justice system or one that applies the law equally to everyone? No one else would be able to get away with what these people whom we still do not know the identities of, are getting away with. Where are the prosecutions?