TJKEY

The big tips are bad, but so is the local tipping usually found around rented housing and HMOs #gmb

@vxylily Crying

MEN: be brutally honest, what really makes a woman instantly UNATTRACTIVE

@ronsterd89 Stuffing

What taste better a little burnt??

@ronsterd89 Get yourself a chronic fissure!

Tell me a pain that is bigger than toothache...aside from labor

@vivmulders @KeruboSk Does it work when the clocks change?

@KeruboSk I have never used an alarm! I say to myself 6am and I wake up within 15 minutes of 6am. It's weird, I don't understand it, but my body works like that!

Apparently there are people who wake up before their alarm… and just get up. Just one alarm. No snooze. No struggle. Explain yourselves. How do you do that?

@memakingmidlife Yep, it can be. But it’s also well worth turning off international payments and gambling payments in the app, not sure if all banking apps are the same though.

@kytmlm Love that for you. I'd never be able to be bothered with the faff but it's a top strategy, for sure👏🏾

If you use your phone it’s so easy to freeze and unfreeze your card #gmb

@memakingmidlife I unfreeze it when I’m using it, then freeze again

@kytmlm But you're only going to freeze it once you've *noticed* it's been stolen. #gmb

@Lucy010189 Great advice, I do similar

I have an account just for everyday shopping or making transactions online that I transfer money into. It has no overdraft limit and I never have a substantial amount in it. My main account is secured so no contactless or internet purchases! #gmb

@RobertaFresque2 Mott the Hoople

???

@ronsterd89 Cotton wool soaked in scotch

What can I use for tooth pain until I can get into the dentist on Wednesday?

@IHPower But he’s an innocent man

I once saw Billy Joel in B&Q buying fire lighters. The lying bastard.

@LesPurves Both bands are probably classed as duos now

@fesshole We all think we can grab the remote and switch it off if the worst happens, don’t we?

I've been a paramedic a few years now and let me tell you. Old dudes dying of a heart attach in bed with beautiful ladies, never happens. But over half of our cardiac incidents are guys wanking alone in front of a screen. Might be because of the city where I work, I guess.

@batcountry1980 I enjoyed it till that horrible pissing scene

Watched a brilliant documentary today, The Great Hip-Hop Hoax. Two guys from Dundee go down to London, pretend they are American rappers, and end up getting a record deal with Sony. Don’t get me wrong, it pisses me off they had to hide the fact they’re Scottish, but when they rap in their own accents, they get called the rap Proclaimers. So, fair play, they did what they had to do. And they keep it up around everyone, music executives, tv interviews, recording their debut album. Must have been so intense playing that part 24/7. There’s a film about it coming out soon, and the documentary has been out for years, but it’s on Netflix now. Well worth a watch.

@tonytiger67 @TheExtremeMusi1 Interestingly Pete Shelley’s dad was a professional snooker player

@TheExtremeMusi1 Snooker Loopy

What’s the song??? “You spurn my natural emotions You make me feel like dirt and I'm hurt And if I start a commotion I run the risk of losing you and that's worse”

@FFS_WhatNow First shown on a Thursday night which meant the weekend was nearly here

Hated it. This shite and Heartbeat was the lead up to going back to school on Monday. It's like TV producers had a deal with our parents to bore us into going to bed early.

@anon_opin I agree , and it should be Peter Crouch, making it an unbeatable claim

You'd think that by now somebody would have taken a step-ladder up to the top of Mount Everest, just so that they could stand atop and claim the honour of being the highest anyone has ever stood.

Mr Masturbator is back! #gmb

@decorativeartt For all the plaudits, his name top of the bill, the adulation, it was always at night, in the alone hours, when Terry would like awake, unable to sleep, the same thought running through his mind over and over “Lammar is by far the funnier one”, and in his silence he knew it

Oh gosh, look who has just turned up on my timeline. Lets drag your rotten carcass through the mud again, shall we? Oh Terry Christian, you preposterous, irrelevant, washed up little has been still slithering around like the contemptible Manchester relic you are, desperately defending this bankrupt Labour circus with your tired old “Boris was worse” drivel. How exquisitely tiresome to watch a man who once called himself award winning now reduced to bootlicking for Keir Starmer while the country burns. Let me lay the cold arithmetic bare for you, line by line, you snivelling lefty hypocrite: You, the self anointed working class hero who was crowned the most hated man on television by the Daily Mirror itself viewer logs filled with hatred for your tacky, insulting antics on The Word, where you rubbed every decent guest up the wrong way and turned British youth television into a national embarrassment. You, sacked from Talk Radio UK in 1995 like the shock jock failure you were, then dragged through the courts and humiliated again when you lost your unfair dismissal case against BBC Radio Manchester and walked away with nothing but your bruised ego and a 90000 a year pay packet you never deserved. You, the rabid anti Brexit fanatic who ran a Twitter poll demanding Leave voters be sacked first a traitor to every working class northerner who voted to take back control, now pretending foreign interference and covid criminals are the real enemy while you cheer on mass migration and EU re entry like the rootless globalist cunt youve become. And lets not forget your crowning 2025 glory, you fucking disgrace mocking the brave white British hero who confronted the knifeman in the Huntingdon train stabbing, sneering at white males of fighting age for supposedly hiding while praising some immigrant train guard. That is who you are: a man who spits on his own people, on real courage, on everything decent British men stand for. Stop fucking lying, Terry. Stop pretending youre some principled Mancunian voice when youre nothing but a contemptible, snivelling little stain on the Union flag a has been lefty whose own working class roots you betrayed long ago. The British lion sees you. The British people see you. Britain First. No Surrender. 🦁🇬🇧