Rob P 🇨🇦

@AlliAlliG 🤭🤣🤣

Donald Trump is up here bragging about how short his war is compared to all other wars 🤣 GTFO

Kristi Noem told her husband that she will divorce him if he doesn’t stop cross-dressing. So he packed up her clothes and left.

💀😂

and fuck you too

@gardengirl125 💀🤣🤣

*deletes all social media *moves to Himalayas *pigeon arrives with a note *opens note *unsolicited dick pic

Resume of the Year

my April Fool's joke on my wife did not go as planned...

It’s no longer “let’s go to a fancy restaurant,” it’s “let’s go fill the gas tank.”

Why do we call it cunnilingus and not lickity split?

In the 80's Knickerbocker released an ET themed light up finger toy, the product was quickly removed from stores and discontinued just a few months later.

@davidalter @TheRoadBiz 12:23

He's not 100 percent and he's got a target on his back. This really could go anywhere tonight as we have a special opponent's edition of the #IceTimeChallenge with Radko Gudas being the subject against the #Leafs. Must follow @TheRoadBiz for the coffee. ☕️ Must follow @Ozoon_CA and be 18+ to enter for the $50 prize. LET’S GO!

@CrissieC At least they didn’t get you a single roll of toilet paper and paper towels 🤷🏻‍♂️😂

When you order a bag of potatoes and a bag of lemons and your shopper just gets you one of each

@Bobbybollocks2 Looks like you dropped a couple of stones there

Another successful week on my diet plan,the weights falling off 👌👌

I have literally no preference as to which way the TP is on the roll. Fight me.

@KrisStellick Greek would hit the spot!

Greek, steaks or tacos No idea what to make for dinner Something something for sure lol

It’s just a matter of time until Trump names Tiger Woods the Secretary of Transportation now.

What are your friday evening plans? Show me in gifs 🤣🤣

My boyfriend says he doesn’t like it when I invade his privacy. He didn’t tell me that directly. I read it in his journal

I'm an ER doctor: don't even think about it.

@FemaleJaysFan Mine was from Oakville and id also a Leafs fan 😂

There's a good chance I'm close friends with the surgeon who performed your vasectomy.