low effort

A bulldog relaxing with a bum massage machine

i’m gonna lovebomb my wife (love her unconditionally) for 70 years then ghost her (die)

I need you to be on your baldest behavior

when i’m trying to reduce my cortisol by italianmaxxing and jobminimizing with my chud friends and i hear a couple of wagegooning emploids at the next table talking about their j*bs

Nice watch mate didn't even notice your shining bald head or 5'8 stature

mayor of New York Zohran Mamdani stepped out in custom Carhartt last night🙂‍↕️

bro that a&r don’t even really fwu it’s just labelslop

@FreddieGibbs @Alchemist 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

she let me hit because she has let me hit for generations in an infinite number of past lives in the karmic cycle. sometimes as four horned antelopes, as a speck of pollen on a bluebell flower, or even as algae surrounding hydrothermal vents on the deep sea floor

For real 😂😭

Strangest Thing was me chasing you and not the bag

Happy Anniversary to us! 25 years! If u round it its almost 30 years! Lol My knight & Shining Armor,my peanut butter to my jelly,my pea to my pod Cant imagine life without you. I remember in 2001 meeting you like it was yesterday.. I love you baby ❤️

Happy New Year! To everyone on Earth 🌍 Coco and my 25th Silver Anniversary.. We wish you ALL Happiness, Peace and Prosperity #2026

If I hit this dictation button after sending a text and it beeps and stops my music one more time, I’m gonna find everyone at apple and put them in a rear naked choke hold Even if I turn off dictation I somehow hit the voice note thing The send button should not have multiple functions in the same spot

People have been contributing to WhoSampled for free for years just for that shit to end up being used to train Spotify’s AI lol cold world

bro they shoulda just made the mayoral debate the half time show for the knicks season opener

stop bothering me or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people but I can tell you are not yet aware of

“sorry for trauma dumping” bro i literally love and care for you? it’s an honour to learn about the complex and subtle ways that life has shaped you? i hope to be your trusted friend and confidant for the rest of my days?

some of you have never had the experience of meeting and falling in love with someone whose pheromones are so compatible with yours that the two of you are borderline intoxicating to each other, to the point that entire continents and armies couldnt keep you apart, and it shows.