evil beetle soup

y’all mind if I wear pink?

(I genuinely love it so much this is in no way shade)

it’s giving eren yeager ❤️

3 of my coworkers separately hit me up today to check on how I’m doing and to tell me they miss me 🥹😭 I feel so loved what the fuck I’ve never wanted to return to work so badly

I used to think it was Big of Me that I didn't Hold Grudges but then I realized I just have ADHD and simply, cannot remember what happened

we noticed you from across the bar and we are going to kill you

every mushroom foraging guidebook: This is Woodland Pot Roast, a tasty little mushroom that adds a delightful flavour to soups and stews. Note that it is often mistaken for Satan’s Fistula, a mushroom that erases the last 9 generations of your family from God’s ledgers.

“Can you explain this gap on your resume” its called playing outside

they bloom regardless

Hey man I’m really sorry I’m late. I just had to stop and give both my cats one hundred million kisses each before leaving, and then tell them both that I love them with a sincerity and earnestness that would make my human family members jealous

Scaring the hoes by being too genuine

can you pay off your credit card with love in your heart?

i love being in STEM (shenanigans, tomfoolery, escapades, and mischief)

“it’s okay i’ll remember” says the Forgets Everything guy

pronouncing the L in caulk loud as fuck so nobody thinks i’m thinking about dicks or anything gay like that

Having sex just for the excercise

@IntingSoft no ❤️

@madscientitz do you get paid for your medical leave at least?

on my way to get my ribs inspected again hoping they put me down this time 💓