Mark Brannan

holy shit my girlfriend never even became a worm. she just left. i've been dating a regular ass worm

my favorite bar has a “drink” called “the ta-li” where the bartender touches right between your eyes and you suddenly feel like you’ve had eight shots back to back and you completely lose any internal monologue for 6 hours and it’s only $20

killed my neighbor with my bare hands and he gave me 0 exp and his only lootdrop was an otherwise empty wallet with a picture of him and his family. useless

@gemothy make music!

bf away til thursday and i live in the middle of nowhere and i cannot drive. what the fuck do i do to fill my time i forgot

What if it was called Bantavirus and it were a right laugh?

@gemothy She doesn't miss

@shitpost_2049 @Cutting_Class new meta?

@celtic_jaime @Comedyfox he's only gone and done it!

Who’s tried the 3 course meal for £6 at star bar Glasgow 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: moon's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted

@uwutoowo1 @Cutting_Class do you _really_ have a DJ setup without one of these?

IN 90 MINUTES (6PM EST) we're gonna be testing a theoretical speaker build from the gigabrains on the DIYaudio subreddit, the Shitwoofer

@gemothy Pitbull fan? yeeesh. Congrats I guess

big fucking day for me

@pierbiwierbi chalant is the new woke

i cannot be nonchalant. if i simp for u u will definitely know it

thanks to AI our slow and humiliating national suicide will be punctuated by visual media that is so good even a dog could jack off to it

micro dosing hell by staying informed and educated

No second date but at least she understands the nuances between convex options and linear perpetual swap derivatives

[Agent Smith voice]: Peter Mandelson.

apparently telling your coworker that you knew they were born by c-section the way they avoid labor is not acceptable

I think I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

“i can’t do this anymore” you could if you were an emotionless automaton. try harder

🎵 you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's use misshapen tools invented for and by cattle