Matt Dad

I’m just a teenage dirtbag dad baby

@brooklynROFL tiktok.com/t/ZTRpJaUon/

@JakeRunyon Ah poo I tweeted this same thing 20 hours after you. I’m embarrassed

Banshees of Inesherin [2022]

I'm assuming she just watched Banshees of Inisherin and felt really inspired by Brendan Gleason's character?

@brooklynROFL Me and some friends wore those to a LAX bro party we were very not invited to in 2007 and it got my brother a job and a masters from Cornell.

@caminoky What sport?

The Argentina vs. France final is my new favorite tv show #campeonesdelmundo

I put on deodorant today for the first time in 10 days. So there’s that.

Wait so Bad Bunny isn’t the bunny that screams “ILLUMINATION!!!” before The Grinch?

Petition for Tony's Chocolonely to do a Tony's Chocolorange

Don't why she said that or where she learned it. But she's brilliant.

My 4 yo at dinner: "It's my way or the highchair!"

@dan_lefev @cancelevrything Turning notifications on for this Tweet so I can see said EFY picture whenever it's posted.

@cancelevrything ?

2022 was the year of the egg McMuffin for me

I can't explain it in words but i know exactly what Mr. Grinch smells like

@mcmansionhell There’s a turret house in Salt Lake too

@chasehilton22 You say Avatar colon, I say thin blue line

I never thought I’d say this but I’m actually quite excited for Avatar colon the Way of Water ! ! !

If I’d created The White Lotus I’d have called it The Reschke Lotus

@brooklynROFL You’re in good hands

@TrentMano Heyo! That’s me. Started following you a while back and never announced myself. Haha. Probably because my Twitter is too weird…

@mattereschke Oh wait, is this Josh’s brother and the pizza guy? What’s up man!

I'm not really into tennis or nfts, but I really dig this project art.tennis

It was probably the 7700 ft elevation, huh?

Was I just really bad at opening soda cans as a kid? Or does soda just not explode as much these days?