GLP-Diddy

I rewrote "Nowhere Man" so it's about being online

@Hermit_Thrush I can’t believe you’ve done this to me

@mattytalks let me ask you question

So life is a never ending labyrinth of insecurities, economic anxiety and an unstable world order on the verge of all out war? Well let me ask you question? Have you ever tried Mocktails?

The first time Dr.David Banner turned into the Hulk was when they added an 18% gratuity to his check at Olive Garden because there was a party of 8

He tried to warn us, but we weren’t ready to hear it

@LuckyStubbs You are deceased, RIP

If any of my online buddies are interested, I’ve somehow been locked out of insta and FB lol and I’m not eager to get back in! I’m not deceased 😊

Most mental illnesses can be cured by wearing “barefoot” shoes for 30 days

I finally watched the Bad Bunny halftime show. The thing I’m most curious about is why the worlds most successful pop artist wears clothes from Chess King circa 1991

Bad News Comrades: I’ve received information that ICE has raided the Puppy Bowl and apprehended a chihuahua by the name of Churro

Bad news friends, An ICE agent has shot Spuds Mackenzie after mistaking him for the Yo Quiero Taco Bell Chihuahua

The people who shop at my local grocery store have a lot of issues

@unexplainables8 It’s simply science

When a woman is ready to mate, she builds a ship in a bottle. Then she gives it to a man and he pees in the bottle. Thats how you make a baby

@ExpertsLie Please no

Two men of color kissing

RIP to a real one, I’ll never forget you Dilmberd

@Hermit_Thrush It means you’re gay, you’re a gay man and a gay activist and every day you fight to be heard and understood. You are the modern day Martin Luther King

@mattytalks it keeps guessing what sesquisexual means. it's a nonsense word I made up

Thinking about changing my bio just because all the grok summaries say I'm an activist because i put that ironically in my profile

RIP Bobby Weir As a teenager, struggling with my place in the world, I listened to the Grateful Dead and found comfort When I lost my father and wasn’t sure how to navigate life after loss, I listened to the Grateful Dead and found comfort I hope you found comfort

It’s hard to apply modern standards to past times, but in my opinion John Wilkes Booth would have totally gotten cancelled if Twitter was around back then

@dypschyt Guys can’t even make conversation anymore without getting called out online.