Maximilian Madile

@fesshole more authentic if you'd stop calling it "downhill slalom"...

I regularly walk my local Parkrun and each time I come to a directional marker pole I like to brush past it as if I am a champion downhill slalom skier.

@NoContextBrits buy a return ticket

@fesshole a delicous chicken breast burger love story

Met my wife in a takeaway after a night out. I ordered the last chicken burger and she wanted it. The owner said she should flash me her tits for it and she did. I love that man almost as much as I love her. She tells people we met via friends.

@fesshole you monster!

Father of a 5yr old and a 1yr old. I'm a great judge of how much they'll eat at dinner. Unless it's alphabites, which I always do too many of. Unrelated: I enjoy alphabites very much.

@fesshole me too! you beat me to it!

I zest waxed lemons.

@fesshole charming girl. the eloquence!

Every morning my boyfriend takes a shit whilst I have a shower. I've shouted and addressed it but I still have to freeze my tits off every time he drops a log. Anyway every time he has a shower in the evening, I have a shit. And I flush twice. It's the little things.

@fesshole Theresa, is that you???

Went in to the little local bakery to treat myself to a loaf of sourdough. Lady behind the till asked "sliced?" I misheard and replied "no I want the whole loaf?" Realisation dawned on me, I paid and scurried out. Can never return. Loved that place too.

@SportDE_TV super dass ihr boris als kommentator habt aber die audio qualität ist fuer pay tv (oder generell) nich akzeptabel!

@fesshole creep

I like to read reviews of hotels I have stayed at years ago. The older the better. I just like to see how they are getting on and imagine myself going again

@christianhern @profgalloway and until diageo bought a 50% stake in the company 😂

@profgalloway Zacapa is 🇬🇹 btw… was a little known gem until they won world’s best run year after year after year

Belated celebration of Team Argentina’s World Cup win w/Asado, and Zacapa. Immigrants are the secret sauce, and spice, of America. 🇺🇸⚽️🇦🇷

Murrrrrrrrayyyyyy 🎾

Ladies and Gentlemen: Sir Andy Murray:

“What’s Britain like?”

@bow_ben @FrigidNinja78 @NoContextBrits shoreditch, no?

@FrigidNinja78 @NoContextBrits Too right it is! Was my local ATM in Bow, east London!

@_ashawndabney 🙋🏻‍♂️

@brucedaisley epic

hell yeah. theguardian.com/sport/2022/may…

Hi @elonmusk 👋 (need that edit button 🤣)

Hi Elon 👋

@NoContextBrits who's Elton John?