Melvin III

Saw @nicolebyer last night. She asked me to hold her bag then asked "are you black?" at which point, she made the white person next to me hold it instead. And that's on Black History Month!

@z_belladonna @claraturing $300/person

@claraturing But at what cost

Nobu is the Chili’s of fine dining- I will not elaborate

I don’t typically play builds in Fortnite, but when I do, I fry

I stopped watching Hacks after season 1 for no particular reason but this particular casting decision will bring me back to finish the show.

Done playing Fortnite for the season. I wanna maintain these stats.

For people who use rubber gloves when they cook at home…you’re not concerned about the amount of waste from single use plastic at such a large scale when you could just wash your hands?

Turns out the only test Chuck Norris couldn't pass was the test of time

In my shower, a centimeter is an insane movement. I’ve got millimeters between room temperature and scalding

Walked into a play tonight, saw my friend’s little sister in the cast I was over the moon. Did it take me out a bit because to me she’s just that high schooler I met when he and I used to hang out? Yes! But boy the pride I felt as seeing her make it? Otherworldly.

Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of paying almost $6/gal for gas and thanks to @realDonaldTrump I’ve done it 🥰🥰🥰

I wish nightlife happened before 1pm, when I’m at my skinniest of the day.

I think the most liberal Californian and the most conservative Californian can agree on one thing: this state is better than any others. Been here for 18 years now and I can’t imagine living anywhere else.

Hello today I am learning Demi Moore is on a TV show???

I hate how the funniest thing you will ever hear in your life will be something someone said in a small work Slack group so no one else can see it or will honestly even get it

They’re going to always remember this as the year he won the Oscar and she made her Broadway debut. I hope they giggle about it together in 20 years

A close friend’s best friend won THE Oscar last night. Talk about 20 feet from stardom.

Most interesting part of the wedding I went to last night was learning that my friend of six years knows how the play the drums

Interesting to live my life and realize that the purposeful investments my parents made in me as a child are paying off. Im hanging out with horse riding, skiing, summer on the Vineyard folk, and that’s all my parents ever wanted. To make sure I grew up in the next class up.

Weeooo weeooo 🚨 bad bitch alert!!!

Rich people love to stand in a doorway as though it’s the destination

I’m so LA-pilled, I didn’t look up the location of the place I ordered @UberEats from and now it’s taken almost one hour to get a salad from the pizza place that’s two blocks from my hotel.