⚜️Melissa 👩🏻‍💻⚽️🏒⚾️📖🧶⚜️

@RapidResponse47 Mr. President, we are just getting started 🇺🇸

@cardscookie - Waldy and I are finally having the Totchos!

@AdeleScalia This cracked me up. I always loved summer when my kids were home for the same reason.

I don’t want to homeschool my children but I do want to “home” them. I want us to be at home together every day but without me having to teach them anything. What I’m really saying is I need us to be generationally wealthy so that we can be dumb. Is that too much to ask?

It should be illegal for companies to do this.

@indigoblue171 @mrs_g_rider Me too - I have never taken a book off those displays for that reason. Good to know.

@mrs_g_rider This is so good to know cause I’m always worried about disrupting the display 😂

I just want you all to know every time someone checks out a book from a display at the library, a very happy library worker does a fun little celebratory dance.

@jondelarroz @JackPosobiec 🥹

@JackPosobiec Before we talk about today's mass hallucination that Trump was going to end the world, it's time for the simultaneous sip!

Scott Adams would be having an amazing show today

@beffybadbelly Definitely!

I feel like I need to see Project Hail Mary. I feel left out.

@ashleyschendel That ham will show back up in some omelettes or potato soup!

One of the cheapest dinners in my house starts with not buying another protein. Leftover ham, rolls, cheese, and something simple on the side is the kind of meal that keeps the grocery budget from bleeding out in the middle of the week. I think a lot of people underestimate how much money gets saved by making one meal turn into the next one cleanly. That is a real skill.

@fadetokat Such a good one - hope he loves it

Gonna try and get my 70 year old dad to go watch Project Hail Mary tomorrow! He loves space stuff, but hasn’t been to the movies in ages!

@Beganovic2026 Waaaa - that is a lot!

This car had like 65 meter expired tickets ($20 each) and than $20-40 for each one in late payments. Got ticketed and booted this morning at 10:52 am and by this afternoon it paid all its tickets. System worked as intended

@ImBillRay @Joeyrandomguy @sarahlol1863603 It’s still a basketball reference, it’s just fun. Please wish them well.

@Joeyrandomguy @sarahlol1863603 what's the context of this

how come every dude who marries a girl from Twitter talks about her like he took down an elephant in the African Sahara

@jlpoober @linda_slavick The parents don’t and neither do the teachers

@linda_slavick Ouch. I don't think he's supposed to say that out loud!

After 30 years in the classroom, here's what I know: The system bends over backwards for the kid causing the chaos. The 28 kids just trying to learn? They get whatever's left. A mom finally shadowed her son all day, and what happened next says everything. 🧵

@JaredDHardin That is a lot of stripes!

I'm going to be striping this beast of a parking lot in a few weeks. This is by far my biggest job yet, and I'm super excited about it because the lot really needs it. The before and after pictures are going to be so satisfying.

I like how dramatic this photo is for no reason; the Easter Bunny waiting to be introduced by Trump.

@lukesawhook It is an Indy must

First time! That shrimp cocktail changed my brain chemistry

@leahck55 @twelcher15 Beautiful picture - congratulations!

✅

@twelcher15 @leahck55 Ahhhh - yayyyyy!

Shooters shoot. Don’t let anyone convince you Twitter isn’t a dating site

@johnrabe It is good

Okay, putting my accessibility issues aside, I’ve now watched a couple of innings of the Peacock broadcast, and…I’m impressed. It’s a good broadcast. They’ve even made Brad Thompson into an actual analyst. #STLCards

@genesimmons Great words, @genesimmons. #keepitmoving

How about this. Stop looking at my plate and mind your own business. What makes me happy, is to never stop, and continue to add value to my family, their future generations, to charity, and to these blessed United States of America. Sending good wishes to you.

@bethanyshondark At that stage we went through several from garage sales or facebook marketplace

Seeking advice: We have had a couch from Costco for about three years. It’s falling apart, mostly thanks to heavy wear and tear from six kids. I’d like to replace it. But do I just wait until we’re past heavy wear and tear stage. Or