Cake & Small chops sensei

When your alarm rings at 6am but you remember you're unemployed..

Me: Your blood pressure is 210/120. This is a stroke level. Why did you stop your Amlodipine? Patient: My Pastor prayed for me and said I am healed. He told me to stop the tablets so I don't "claim" the sickness. Me: But you came here because you can’t feel your left arm and your face is drooping. Patient: Yes, it’s just a spiritual attack. I just need a small injection to wake the arm up so I can go back for the remaining 7 days of the fasting program. Me: 👇

A man has come forward to talk about how he was sexually abused for most of his life by men who were supposed to protect him, and it is still men who have come out to shame him and dismiss his story. Then the boy child will come out and rant about how they have been neglected!!

I won the 2023 election and it was stolen from me. I will still win in 2027 but this time around they can't steal again — Peter Obi reassures in an interview today 18th April, 2026.

@Uber one of your riders in Lagos,Nigeria picked up a package(an iPhone 16) from Egbeda to be delivered to Ikeja and he cancelled the ride midway and he’s been unreachable ever since!!! His name is AUGUSTINE ADIMABUA 0703 199 9051 DO YOU GUYS EMPLOY THIEVES NOW @Uber ???!!!!!!!!!!??! This is someone’s business fgs!!!! @Uber WE NEED THE PACKAGE!!!!!!!

₦34.44 Trillion Never Reached Nigeria’s Federation Account — Peter Obi Alleges Massive Corruption

This is male hostel for University of Nigeria Nsukka (UNN). Eni Njoku hostel to be precise. Every student in this hostel is living worst than prisoners. We can’t continue this way.

Your words, not mine 🫩❤️

Nigeria Is Bleeding From Within It is deeply troubling to read recent World Bank reports indicating that, while Nigeria’s Federation Revenue surged to ₦84 trillion in just three years, a staggering 41% —amounting to ₦34.44 trillion —never reached the Federation Account. This sum exceeds the combined ₦34 trillion earmarked for capital projects in the 2024 and 2025 Appropriation Bills, a comparison that underscores the gravity of the situation and signals that something is fundamentally wrong. This is not a mere oversight; it points to institutionalised corruption on a massive scale. In 1994, when the Okigbo Panel reported about $12.4 billion from the Gulf War oil windfall as unaccounted for, Nigerians were outraged and the nation shook with indignation. Today, an even more troubling situation appears to be unfolding, yet it is met with a disquietening silence. We are trapped in a lethal paradox: Earning more as a nation, yet having less to invest in healthcare, education, and infrastructure. From 2025, systemic “deductions” have allowed agencies to capture more resources than entire states and even critical ministries. These leakages explain why countries with fewer resources are out-performing us across key development indices. With such a broken system, how can we fix power, strengthen our schools, build resilient healthcare, or develop critical infrastructure? Nigeria has no business being poor. We must stop these leakages through disciplined, transparent leadership driven by character. It is time to redirect our hijacked resources back to the people and move Nigeria into the league of developed nations. With our collective resolve to change this corruption-infested system, a New Nigeria is POssible. -PO

Governor Fayose’s approach was unethical, but it got the job done. After the Ekiti State House of Assembly passed the Anti-Open Grazing Bill and he (then the Governor) signed it into law, the herders still refused to comply. So Governor Fayose did the unthinkable. Governor Fayose will personally lead security agencies to patrol the state. If they catch you and your cattle violating the law, they will kill the cows and share the meat with the people around. After a few scapegoats saw that he meant business, they took their cows off the streets and off people’s farms. Imagine if the South West Governors do this!

We are laughing at this whole business. But it’s not funny. Supposed neutral institutions dey run bigotry and agenda.

This lady made her own video Feb 14th . She said bon bread stayed 32days in her house and it’s still fresh. The brand name, wrap….everything is on display but they’re suing the one who didn’t show anything. Who’s advising this company?

This question is actually deep and hits home for so many people. Without the password or biometrics, modern phones (especially iPhones) use strong encryption that keeps everything locked. Simply resetting or "flashing" the phone usually wipes all your photos, messages, and important data forever, leaving families with nothing but frustration and lost memories. The smart solution is to plan ahead right now while you still can: FOR IPHONE USERS: Go to Settings > tap your name at the top > Sign-In & Security > Legacy Contact. Add one or more trusted people (like a spouse, child, or sibling). You'll get an access key to share with them. After you pass, they just need that key plus a copy of your death certificate to request access to your Apple account and data. It's straightforward and doesn't require going to court in most cases. FOR ANDROID/GOOGLE USERS: Go to myaccount.google.com, sign in, then head to Data & Privacy > More options > Make a plan for your digital legacy (or search for Inactive Account Manager). Choose a waiting period (like 3 to 18 months of inactivity), pick trusted contacts, and decide what data to share (Gmail, photos, Drive files, etc.). Google will notify them and give access if the account goes inactive. Do this today. It only takes a few minutes, but it can save your loved ones from huge headaches later. Most people never think about it until it's too late, and precious memories or important information end up locked away forever. Above all, love God.

From what I read from the letter, the EFCC accused you of internet fraud, arrested you & seized your property. After all the investigations, you were cleared of all allegations but they later requested for a forensic analysis of your phone. Since then @officialEFCC is yet to return your iPhone & it seems they are already compromising your business privacy. This is absolutely wrong. EFCC, what’s going on?

@Yeahmicee This your tweet lacks wisdom

I don’t understand how you’re a Nigerian living in Nigeria and you’re using Korean skincare, we don’t even have the same skin textures or weather 🤦🏽‍♀️

I really don’t understand this argument. Do you think Korean skincare brands created their products just to stay in Korea and not go global? Brands like Laneige and COSRX are used worldwide, and yes, it works for Nigerians too. Different skin types exist everywhere, and plenty of people here use these products and see real results. If something works for someone, it works. Simple. People are spending their own money, so why is it suddenly a problem? At this point, not everything you’re seeing is “concern.” Let’s call it what it is. Jealousy. Because why else would what someone chooses to use for their own skin bother you this much?

When my mum died, I learnt a lot of things, nasty things that made me see the reality of the Nigerian woman, her place in society and how much she is worth to society dead. In all these, I am going to pick on just one, and that’s the fact that her husband was not allowed to be on the site during the burial, he was not allowed to attend her funeral. All that’s was demanded of him was money. No shaving of hair, no sitting on the floor, no compulsory black or white clothes, no expectation of weeping/wailing, no mandatory mourning period, no accusations of killing her. Nothing, just nothing. Society is cruel to women, we will talk about it when we are ready.

Dear @PoliceNG Passport not found online Tomorrow morning, I will call the office to confirm.

most people were asking me why i covered the name in the last post, this is who tried to give me the gig, i had to turn it down cause i want the good of this country! 🫶

Mind you her song writers are from Nigeria 🤣 😂

When I started clocking this Tunde was when he attempted GWR or so. And every popular figure was tagging him congratulating him. He retweeted every politician from presidency to Atiku, even the Lagos state government and snubbed Obi’s post. For someone that is apolitical 👀😀