Sauce Alexander

Who up and fat

Looks at u adorably and patheticly with anguish in my eyes

pov: you’re a delicious lichen, or perhaps a tasty fern

Snarfin

I’ll take care of it

Runway one, cleared to land

本日のお浸かり 皆さま、本日もおつかりさまです

does it ever stop feeling like this

pov: you’re a tasty acacia leaf, or perhaps a juicy wild apricot

Emergency 🦺... please Side

What i mean when i say I’m on the way,,,,

Peeing straight piss

Texting the poop plug asking how much for a log

Steamboat dog

Farted so hard while driving it blew the entire undercarriage of my car off so now i have to flinstones this bitch

I am lost and I am scared

*sniffs you curiously while i enjoy my peppers*

"Babe, let's not argue right now. We can do it later over the phone when I'm on the train"

WRONG

Boing