Martin Jervis

MESSAGE I wholeheartedly endorse the powerful appeal for peace made by the Holy Father, Pope Leo, during his Palm Sunday Mass. His call for the laying down of arms and the renunciation of violence resonated profoundly with me, as it speaks to the very essence of what all major religions teach. Indeed, whether we look to Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism or any of the world's great spiritual traditions, the message is fundamentally the same: love, compassion, tolerance, and self-discipline. Violence finds no true home in any of these teachings. History has shown us time and again that violence only begets more violence and is never a lasting foundation for peace. An enduring resolution to conflict, including the ones we see in the Middle East or between Russia and Ukraine, must be rooted in dialogue, diplomacy and mutual respect — approached with the understanding that, at the deepest level, we are all brothers and sisters. I urge for and pray that the violence and conflicts may soon come to an end. DALAI LAMA 31 March 2026

Me in my 20s sleeping at a friend’s house: “Don’t worry that you haven’t got a spare bed, I will sleep in my clothes on the kitchen floor or in the bath or folded into a cupboard or in the big bush outside your front door or in a bin” Me in my 40s: “Thank you for the offer of a spare bed, but I’m going to drive three hours home to my own one instead”

DeNiro says it all! No King protest

Lot of great gags in this movie 😂

Favourite British way of telling someone to be calm? Mine is “settle down”

Statement by President George W. Bush on the passing of Robert Mueller: "Laura and I are deeply saddened by the loss of Robert Mueller. Bob dedicated his life to public service. As a Marine in Vietnam, he proved he was ready for tough assignments. He earned a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart before returning home to pursue law. In 2001, only one week into the job as the 6th Director of the F.B.I., Bob transitioned the agency mission to protecting the homeland after September 11. He led the agency effectively, helping prevent another terrorist attack on U.S. soil. Laura and I send our heartfelt sympathy to his wife of nearly 60 years, Ann, and the Mueller family."

When a Brit helps a friend to move house: Brit 1: “Where do you want this box?” Brit 2: “Just stick it anywhere for now” Duration: 8 hours. Payment: A pint.

“I had a quick flick through” Translation: No I didn’t read it at all.

Hegseth: "The war in Iran is protected by God." Pope Leo XIV: "Do not involve the name of God in choices of death. God cannot be enlisted in darkness."

All men and women, especially Christians, are called to fix their gaze on those who suffer, on the pain of the lonely, and on those who are emarginated for various reasons, for without them we cannot build a just society. Only together can we build communities of solidarity capable of caring for everyone, in which wellbeing and peace can flourish for the benefit of all. Caring for the humanity of others helps us to live our own lives to the full.

Pope Leo calls on journalists to report on US-Israeli war on Iran through the eyes of its victims, pointing out the responsibility of the press to ensure information does not become a source of false narratives. 🔴 LIVE updates: aje.news/ia0cae

@DSherbo1988 In the fullness of time, Rooney won’t be considered worthy to lace his boots. Completely different level of talent This lad is on a level with George best

Can’t believe there’s people comparing this Dowman kid to Wayne Rooney. Rooney was bullying grown men, turning them inside out and beating one of the greatest English goalkeepers ever from 35yrds out. Dowman scored an open goal 😭

In the dramatic circumstances of war, information must guard against the risk of turning into propaganda. It is every journalist's duty to verify the news, so as not to become a megaphone for power. They must show the suffering that war always brings to populations, which entails showing the face of war and recounting it through the eyes of victims.

@Lea_EFC Every credit 👏👏

I’ve just seen this angle of the Arsenal penalty incident and I stand corrected, Keane treads on Havertz heal and it’s clearly a penalty and probably a red card too 🟥 I hold my hands up again 🙌

British Mums when they enter their teenage child’s bedroom on a weekend morning starter pack: -*doesn’t knock, enters the room at 90mph* -*rips open the curtains with remarkable force* -“Are you still in that bed?” -“And are you planning on getting up today?” -“Come on… UP!” -“You’ve had long enough” -*refers to the room/bed as a pit* -“It stinks in here” / “It’s a tip in here” -“You’re missing the day!” -“Breakfast is on the table and it’s getting cold” (even though it’s just cereal) -*aggressively hoovering the landing, occasionally hitting the door*

PEP GUARDIOLA: "The difference between Messi and this generation? I’ll be honest, if Messi were still in Europe, half of these stars… you wouldn’t hear much about their names. Today’s forwards score 20 goals a season and are considered legends. Messi would score 20 goals in two months or half a month and still complain he wasn’t at his best. Players today celebrate routine goals. Messi used to embarrass us by scoring world-class goals every single week. You know what the difference is between Messi and today’s generation? They need tactical analysis, performance-tracking devices, and nutritionists. Messi just needed a ball, boots, and my permission to train three extra hours. I’m coaching Haaland now, and he’s amazing. But if Messi were in the Premier League, Erling would be playing left back. Messi didn’t compete against players, he competed against our idea of what was impossible. Today Mbappé runs, Haaland scores, and De Bruyne passes, but no one, no one, can make us say, ‘Oh my God, how did he do that?’ Some players create stats. Messi created pure wonder."

"I don't want you to hang my portraits in your offices. Because a President is not an icon, an idol or a portrait. Hang pictures of your children instead. And before you make any decision, look into their eyes." - Volodymyr Zelensky President of Ukraine 🇺🇦 Just wow❤️ 🫡

"I don't know how World War III will be fought. But I know that World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones". ... Albert Einstein

I hear lawnmowers! Forget “meteorological” and “astronomical” - lawnmowers are the first real sign of spring.

Accidentally inching forward a bit at the traffic lights, so the car to your side now thinks you've challenged them to a race.