Colonel Leslie “Hap” Hapablap

@Footinit Probably too intimidated.

To commemorate May the 4th I wore a gold string bikini at work all day. My clients all seem to have a vomiting bug.

@dark_cherryred Ah man, I used to buy those tins in Woolworths when I was a kid.

@tomwookieford As with most cars, this would be improved with no rear tint.

No Mopar… but a DS Automobiles No.8. Featuring that steering wheel.

@dark_cherryred Hell yeah!

@AhYeOkayNah @darren_cullen Exactly. What did it say that was offensive at the time? Nothing.

@darren_cullen it's very fucking funny the star of /friends/ making this complaint lol the only reason that show offended anyone is because it's 30 years old and attitudes have changed lol

It's always some bland sitcom star saying you can't make jokes these days. You never get Chris Morris or Julia Davis moaning about this shit because they're still working and making the comedy that washed out multi-millionaires like Kudrow or Seinfeld say can no longer be made.

@shotsmanic @LizWebsterSBF It should also be required to be monitored as “news” by OFCOM. At the moment, for whatever reason it isn’t classed as a News service, despite having it in the name. See also Reform being a limited company rather than a political party.

@LizWebsterSBF Immediate look at proposal with GB NEWS asking to be considered for state cash looks absurd, but if this seriously considered channel will have to get rid of serving MPs who present and also balance panel members. It might then have a case.

🤡 You really couldn’t make it up. GB News losing money… and now asking for public funding. After years of attacking BBC and public service broadcasting, GB News now wants taxpayer support. So it’s “state bad”… until they need it.

@Footinit Sign me up!

@mrwicksy Depends. There’s a right time, place and intention.

Punching men in the throat who come up with this bullshit is more beneficial.

@daniellloyd1 Solid attack, let’s hope you can make the move stick

Just a few years ago, it was too early to go this hard. However, in this modern day you have to anticipate. #RVV26

@Footinit Thought this was Donny Osmond

Loving Billie-Jean King’s suede jacket

@Footinit Well, it’s certainly words

Peak DMing.

@Footinit 😮‍💨 etc.

Went out. Came home. Censored because some of you can’t be trusted with even a glimpse of cleavage.

@Footinit Excited about the prospect, tbh. Shame space is full of trash though, the amount of satellites there is absurd and it’s only going to get worse with all the billionaires willy-waving.

@alexandrakuri Who’s this?

@Footinit @Scott_Wortley Odious, hairy little man.

@Scott_Wortley Keys is an awful human being regardless of this.

Not reading but does he say she was in remission or between rounds or chemo?

@Footinit Oh you 😘

@mrwicksy Nah Bennnnny, you’re right, as ever.

Client’s son asked me out for a drink last week. I politely declined. ‘But you’re single, right?’ ‘Yes, but I don’t date clients’ families.’ ‘Ok, you can think and let me know.’ ‘Thank you but, it’s a no.’ He just called to ask me out again. Now it’s awkward. Thanks.

@Footinit Well, quite. I thought that’s how things worked but then maybe I’m wrong 😂

@mrwicksy Maybe it’s arrogance. I don’t know. If I want to go out with someone I’ll say yes. Simple really.

@Footinit Not just you, I thought it was crap.

I have been repeatedly accused of having no sense of humour for not loving Last one laughing. They might be right. I am famously dour and serious. It’s just the way I am.

@MyshkinBanned As Saturdays go that’s pretty sweet. Good choices!

Huge Saturday plans to absolutely pillage the big garden centre at Tiptree and then stop off at the Blue Anchor on the way home for lunch. It's going to be insane.