Mike

My feelings about all the people out here going to Coachella.

@MattLawrenceArt @latinxiscringe @pirooooon3 Used to be diacetyl, safe to eat, not so safe to inhale.

@latinxiscringe @pirooooon3 "Butter" is right 😂 Whatever that chemical cocktail is, it has absolutely nothing to do with butter

楽しそうだね これって1人前なのかな？ アメリカ人ってめっちゃ食べるんだな

@IGADON2 There are no alligators in Nebraska. Hence, there is no Nebraska Man to wrestle them. Now you know.

めちゃくちゃフロリダにだけ様々なはなしがくる。 ネブラスカとかアーカンソーとかコネチカットとかメリーランドとかこの辺の話も聞きたい。州名ぐらいしか知らんのだ

Yeah, so pretty much this cpuid.com malware is a pain in the ass. I'd have to spend a good bit of time trying to bonk it with a stick and reconstruct some of it. Whoever developed this malware actually cares about evasion and made some intelligent decisions when developing this malware payload. This appears to only impact HWMonitor 64bit. It appears (based on user reports) cpuid became malicious around 7PM EST, April 10th, 2026. However, it is possible it was much earlier than this, this is just when people began noticing and discussing it online. From an extremely high-level overview, it appears the ultimate goal of this malware is data theft, specifically browser credentials. However, I could be wrong in that assessment, but I'm fairly confident in it. I'm guessing this is the end goal because when I emulated it I can see it messing with Google Chrome's IElevation COM interface (trying to dump and decrypt saved passwords). However, between this it does a bunch of other stuff too. 1. They (an unknown Threat Actor) compromised cpuid.com to deliver malware from HWMonitor. It impacts the actual installer as well as the portable installer. It downloads stuff from supp0v3-dot-com, the same domain used from a previous malware campaign targeting FileZilla in the beginning of March, 2026 initially reported by MalwareBytes. 2. HWMonitor comes packaged with a malicious CRYPTBASE.dll. CRYPTBASE.dll is a legitimate Windows library, but they made a fake one to blend in (malware masquerading). This DLL is responsible for connecting to their C2 and downloading the other malware stages. 3. It tries to detect emulation and prevent reverse engineering by checking for the presence of specific registry keys on the machine. However, they failed doing this and didn't account for everything. Notably, they only check for VirtualBox (whomp, whomp). 4. It downloads a .cs file from a remote C2 and then compiles it manually on the machine by invoking .NET stuff. This is an interesting strategy. It does all of this via Powershell (LOLBIN nonsense). 5. The .cs file it compiles is a .NET binary with NTDLL exports. The main HWMonitor binary performs process injection using this compiled .NET binary. This is an interesting strategy. 6. Almost everything it does is performed in-memory. I would have to do through this and manually bonk all of this stuff with a stick and determine precisely how it operates. However, I don't think that is necessary because at this point we know this is malware and we know it's trying to steal browser credentials. +2 points for IElevation COM Interface credential dumping +1 point for inline Powershell CLI DLL compilation +1 point for .NET assembly NTDLL export proxying -1 point for botched anti-emulation +2 points for website compromise and supply chain attack +1 point for memory persistence -3 points for recycling the same C2 from March, 2026 campaign Overall I give this malware a B-. This is pretty good malware.

@JenMsft ... it's from inside the house!

Trying to figure out where the beep is coming from

@Bellatrixx2020 @lady_valor_07 you win with the most unhinged answer

@lady_valor_07 Victorian vibrators?

Nope, not ornaments. My friend is going through the house where her grandma and aunt lived their whole lives and finding weird stuff. Apparently these are solid and very heavy; too heavy to hang on a tree. What are they

@UK_Daniel_Card jeebus christmas, what weird times we find ourselves mired in

lol

@BaronDestructo I would definitely give it a shot.

Pitt Bros Steak Frites Toastie? Yes/No

@sevdaloji What's funny is the app first said your post was translated from Japanese, but read as perfect English. When I clicked on it, it "fixed" itself to say translated from Turkish. A minor bug, but so far it's fairly impressive.

ben bu tweeti türkçe yazıyorum siz hangi dilde okuyorsunuz🌸

@ai_for_success It reads like it's been written in English. Impressive stuff.

तो X ने ऑटोमैटिक ट्रांसलेशन लॉन्च कर दिया है। क्या इसका मतलब है कि मैं हिंदी में लिख सकता हूँ और आपको फिर भी यह इंग्लिश में दिखेगा? मैं आमतौर पर हिंदी में नहीं लिखता, बस जिज्ञासा है। आपको यह पोस्ट किस भाषा में दिख रही है?

@Jackywine @elonmusk Let's work on keeping people alive on our moon for a few weeks before talking about Mars, or Dyson spheres. 🙄

@elonmusk The whole world should do something greater together, such as building a Dyson sphere or colonizing Mars, instead of focusing on competing for this little resource on the earth!!!!!!!

🌍 🌎 🌏

@dogsmellsgood Only 14-16%? I assumed it was something anyone could do. Now I'm feeling special.

Holy fucking shit. Finally found the name for it. Im going to cry Ive never been able to explain this to anyone they never know what im talking about

@UK_Daniel_Card agree, it seems like performative nonsense.

I’m not sure the point in this; it just stops a lot of people seeing eff content. Makes zero sense to me.

@mistressdivy I scroll X and Reddit, inevitably come across various relationship posts, which makes me happy that I don't have a wife or girlfriend.

Single men who live alone, with no wife or girlfriend… what do you guys do on the nights you feel really lonely?

@davepl1968 @_jameshatfield_ I think that's it, exactly. Our educational system is a relic of the industrial age where the goal was to teach kids how to be obdeient, efficient factory workers (right down to the ringing bells telling kids when there's a "shift" change and its time for their next class.)

That's kind of my point - that SOME kids will really flourish in certain tasks. Computers are one of them. Music is another. Drafting. Acting. Math. Whatever. But if you don't expose them to it, it shows up. I don't see the educational system so much as a Marxist thing as a relic of the factory/industrial/military system that needed a steady supply of fresh recruits. If we knew how to do it well, we should split kids into different tracks based on their abilities/interests. Not sure that we know how, though.

I taught the elementary kids' computer lab at the local elementary school for about ten years. By about fourth grade, the kids vary widely in PC ability. You'll have one kid porting Doom and one kid crying because CAPS LOCK is on and he can't log in. One kid trying to eat toner while another fixes the projector. A lot of that is comfort - you can tell some kids use a PC at home a great deal while others have seemingly no exposure. Does it matter? No idea! I understand limiting screen time and so on, but sometimes kids who genuinely have a knack for it are being held back by good intentions! When I sold my company, we donated all the extra PCs and monitors to the school... a couple of dozen Dell Dimension 4200s and so on. Absolutely required for any mid-2000s computer lab!

@Freyy_is It *is* the most versatile word in the English language, after all.

a woman accidentally said “fuck” in a grocery store after dropping her phone and a kid standing behind her repeated it instantly. she turned around absolutely horrified ready to apologize and the mother was crying. her son is nonverbal and 10 years old and just said his first word ever. the word was fuck. they got invited to a pool party. this is the most beautiful and chaotic story i have read this week.😭

@crisisofconsc "Have you tried rebooting Windows?"

Imagine relying on Microsoft products in space lolololol

@vee_dimple @luxemiaa It's just the natural result of his two functioning brain cells fighting for third place.

@luxemiaa The craziest part isn’t even that he was wrong, it’s how confidently he kept going like he really created his own definition and then tried to educate you with it. That level of misplaced confidence needs to be studied

@JenMsft On X, every day is April Fools day.

It's April fools day, and so like any other day you should use critical thinking to assess the validity when reading posts from other people you don't know

@crisisofconsc We will find you and return you home safely.

I'm actually really starting to like Microsoft Teams. Seems like a great product.