The Peoples Republic of Murkistan (Official)

@ReliabilityComp @gunsnrosesgirl3 So the basic lesson here is the swimwear is not appropriate protective clothing for a vacuum. You'll thank me one day.

@ReliabilityComp @gunsnrosesgirl3 In a vacuum the diver would die before he jumped and would just sort of drift along until he hit the road. Also the pool would be boiling so if he didn't die he would land into less water than expected and probably break his neck and die. Also the engine in the car would stall.

Is this correct

@AndrewCGower Only in part of an island off the Welsh coast. Don't worry about it

We have decided to push the launch of Brighter Shores back to the 6th Nov, because apparently there is some sort of election thingy on the 5th - who knew?!

@SaintMichael293 Actually it's 2 bands now. There are only about 4 fascists, who are being protected from an impromptu anti fascist street party by a ring of police. I don't even mind the policing cost of this - a small charge to humiliate fascists every year feels like a good investment

Mate in Brighton just sent me this. God I hope it’s true.

Brighton taking no shit from Far Right fuckwits, who have to be protected by police. Hilarious. #UKRiots #FaragesRiots

This is the #Brighton I know & love so much 💚💚💚 Our city will stand firm against any attempts to bring violent racism, Islamophobia, division and hatred to our streets #Brighton

@fesshole This sort of thing is why all PE teachers are inherently evil

I'm a Secondary PE Teacher & every week the same 4 boys don't bring in kit unless we do football. Today as an end of year treat I let the class play football. I didn't tell them and they didn't bring their kits in. They ended up making 4 very useful corner flags.

@dave43law Does he mean Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland? I suspect their residents are fine with that tbh

So Nigel no mates is going to spend 5 years of dog whistle racism seeking to create division Nigel Farage’s dire warning: some parts of UK ‘not even recognisable as England' #ToriesAreOut #StarmerIsPM19 #LabourLandside #Changebeginstoday express.co.uk/news/politics/…

@afneil No. If you don't like that then you probably shouldn't have voted for it.

In response to so many of comments on this tweet: the Brexit referendum was 8 years ago — can Remainers and Leavers desist from still seeing everything through its prism? Please?

@afneil That's not a bad idea. Or do you think everyone who is homeless is stupid, lazy and uneducated? Is that what you're saying?

By that logic we should make a homeless person housing minister.

Reform has five MPs. Three used to work in the City of London (including one for Lehman Brothers). One is a property magnate. One is paid £100k a year as a GB News presenter. This is apparently a “party of the people”

@IanDunt I'm hoping they don't. I rather enjoyed this one. It's probably true - they will all turn on each other and one is a plant from another party (my money is on Lee Anderson for that - someone probably offered him 60p}

I'm begging these people to watch a single film before they try another cultural reference

@edwinhayward Maybe Amazon will run next time. Against Google.

It may be time to park the "Reform isn't a party, it's a company" argument? If all the key players - from the electoral commission to parliament to the media - don't care, then it's effectively moot, no matter how galling that seems?

@ManiamAkash @mikeysmith I reckon he and Tice will have fallen out by September tbh. One or both will then flounce off saying its a deep state plot, when the reality is they're just a pair of self important twats

@mikeysmith How long before the transparency requirements of being an MP drive him to resign?

Bonus thought: Nigel Farage now has to declare his income and donations.

@johnredwood Yeah let's check... I'm sure Tories lost more seats to reform than to libdems right? Oh wait.

Labour won a huge majority on a low share of the vote. Conservatives and Reform together got more votes. One Nation Ministers failed to reassure Conservative voters on migration, tax, U.K. sovereignty and other crucial 2019 promises. In 2019 today’s Reform voters backed the Conservatives to get Brexit done.

Is Sunak the only democratic leader to have lost but never won an election? Some sort of world record, surely @mrjamesob @LBC

I helped my neighbours to wake up this morning with an spot of D:Ream at 6am. I think they will be OK with that. If not I promise to wait another 27 years before doing it again.