needychick

There's nothing like the love between a woman and her tequila.

Poor cell reception is the erectile dysfunction of star fucking

I already hate this day, so don't tell me I'm not proactive.

I love doing all kinds of stupid, unhealthy shit to my body. This whole 'living a long and healthy life' thing sounds boring as fuck

Everything fun in our lives started as a bad idea, Except marriage! There's nothing fun about that

I'm happy to say that I achieved all my goals in life, The secret is to have very small goals! Trying all doritos' flavors? Done and done!

I'm pretty sure if the Devil was real... he'd throw the best parties

I should charge people for the amount of times I make them smile.

you hate almost everything and that's why i love you.

The best thing about you trying to change me is that you couldn't.

There’s actually four sides to every story. One side, the other side, the correct side, and the side some asshole creates to cause drama.

I may be a mess but I may be the most amazing mess you've ever met.

Funny how the little things stop mattering once you're able to put them in the past.

@TheBeardedSteak ya think? Awesome

Your wit is a panties-dropper.

@Tetley6969 you're welcome!

@Tetley6969 how about wishing you didn't make a typo?

If you and I exchanged more than one word to each other today, chances are I rolled my eyes at you when you walked away.

It's hard to be a priority in someone's life when they have no intention of making you one.