Nigel Moulton

@BootstrapCook Didn’t Walkers run an online poll to bring back a crisp flavour from the past, and have people vote on it. You should do the same !

@Ottojizzmark Straight outta Westminster

Name the Album.

@Parody_PM Your gonna have to change the photo linked to this account ….

My job is much easier now that every single thing I promised to do has been scrapped.

@PaulBrandITV I was hoping for Larry the cat to take her place.

No10 have now confirmed this. So Penny Mordaunt takes Liz Truss’s place in answering for the turmoil.

NEW: Labour have been told Penny Mordaunt will take Liz Truss’s place in the Commons for Keir Starmer’s urgent question. First she reverted to Rishi Sunak’s economic policies, now she’s asking her other leadership rival Penny Mordaunt to speak on her behalf. Humiliating.

@lifegetsteejus @hoffman_noa Well, she has the right initials. PM.

@hoffman_noa If Penny Mordaunt stands up instead of Truss, that has to be the end of the road for whatsername and a huge opening for Mordaunt.

As things stand (always subject to change): Liz Truss not keen to come to Commons for Lab UQ. Now battle to get someone in her place. Am told no ministers so far keen but Penny Mordaunt has said she'll do it

@somersetchris @AndrewSparrow @mrjamesob He is just the mouthpiece for someone else’s PowerPoint. I suspect he has a whole collection of other now out of date and utterly useless one pagers for us to admire.

27 hours ago the Chairman of the Conservative Party tweeted this @AndrewSparrow @mrjamesob

@bmay The Inhuman League.

Simple Minds.

@johnredwood I thought about setting up a parody John Redwood account. But I realise there’s just no point. You can’t parody this, or most of the other stuff he has written recently.

Most people have gas heating and a petrol or diesel car. More wind farms will not keep them warm or able to get to work, whilst stopping us producing oil and gas just forces us to import.

@julianHjessop Good. They are just saving up for when the OBR report is published.

Once again, the #BankofEngland didn't have to buy any #gilts today... 🤓 Others can argue about the significance of this, but I'm going to take it as 'good news' - and move on.

@mrjamesob Christ. Will the last one out of the country turn off the lights and lock the door.

What a time to be alive.

@Ottojizzmark The Inhuman League

Name the Band.

@Daveclocke @cgledhill And more accurate.

@cgledhill Sounds more inviting 😂

My autocorrect keeps changing “metaverse” to “meatball” 🤦🏻‍♂️

@UberUKsupport Ok. I’ll try the in-app help feature. Thanks

@nigelmou Hi Nigel, to be able to follow up on your request via DMs and provide further assistance, kindly send us a DM with more details. Alternatively, you can contact us through the in-app «Help» section, and we’ll get back to you.

@UnderpantsAnton @JeremyClarkson Every once in a while we need Twitter to remind us what happens when someone falls out of the stupid tree and hits every branch on the way down. Legend.

@JeremyClarkson We are tired of funding farmers in Range Rovers, besides, we can get food at Tesco

What we must understand is that the grants farmers got for growing food are going. And we need food.

@VirginAtlantic Hi there. Trying to book flights for Las Vegas later this year. App not working - nor the website. What is happening and when will this be rectified ? Thanks

@MattHancock @marenbennette 181 likes and 355 comments saying you are wrong. Not the maths associated with any sort of vindication.

The court has found that the claim brought by the Good Law Project "fails in its entirety" and that "the evidence provides no support... at all" for their allegations Yet again, the discredited Good Law Project is wasting the court's time

@marenbennette @PhilipOConnor5 Maren, congratulations. Your position as Twitters village idiot is confirmed.

@PhilipOConnor5 Ultimately, if a party consists of 3 people, a bit of tinsel, a bottle of bubbly and no glasses to drink it with, I'd fire the party organiser.

Ultimately, Boris Johnson did say in Parliament across the dispatch box that no parties happened in Downing Street. So, if that seems to be false - he does have to go.

@marenbennette @RichardBentall Maren - it’s not been a good day. You have been schooled on here by people who use facts and reason as opposed to some strange blend of fiction and misguided anger. Are you okay ?

@RichardBentall Which particular bits of Brexit are not going well? Jobs? There's a record number of openings. £stg? It was overpriced at 1.30 pre Brexit, because of € zone fears. Its now hitting new recent highs at 1.20 ⬇️ The economy? IMF says we'll grow faster than EU reuters.com/markets/europe…

If anyone is wondering why the Tories continue to lie directly to our faces, it is because they have no choice. They are the Brexit Party; their fate is linked to Brexit - and it's not going well.

@PenFarthing @PhilJonesy3 @KateEMcCann Why is holding the PM to account appalling ? He claims it is “nonesense” to suggest he was involved in helping you. But he did intervene. He lied (yet again) to the HoC and on national TV. Uncovering the truth isn’t party political, it’s absolutely the right thing to do.

@PhilJonesy3 @KateEMcCann If he was involved then why did I only get out after the British had left? Appalling reporting and even worse using a charity to play party politics…

NEW: Trudy Harrison, PM's PPS, contacted a private charter company on 25 Aug 21 (same date as FCO letter) to secure plane to evacuate animals and staff for Nowzad. A private sponsor funded, but she made clear her role with PM and told staff he was keen to get animals out quickly.

@richardosman Nope. Has to be Planet Earth.

I like how, over the years, we've all come to agree that 'Ordinary World' is Duran Duran's best song.