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Des Keen
35.7K posts
Des Keen retweetledi
Overheard in ICU *from a very confused elderly lady*
“Can I get a cigarette and some morphine”
Same babe. Same.
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@Ivana331Mendez @red00t3d52092 @scenicresorts Yes and if you ask many people if they’d drink dihydrogen monoxide, they’d say no. My post was about food safety and not preferring the taste of non-dairy creamer. I like unflavored half & half better. Sorry I upset you.
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@nuodaispalis @red00t3d52092 @scenicresorts "It tastes like pure chemicals!!" People who say this sound fucking stupid!! Water is a chemical, ffs.
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On my floor of my office it’s probably 90% women and I had to ask them to start ensuring we had real cream for the coffee. One woman said “we already have cream” and pointed to about 5 different versions of this stuff in the little coffee station fridge.
Mr. S.T.A.R.@favelaoverlord
this stuff gotta be the most toxic food product ever produced man
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@JamesCricketLib @red00t3d52092 @scenicresorts I mean, I was talking about food safety requirements and the fact that I don’t prefer non-dairy creamer, I don’t know what topless women has to do with either of those things?
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@nuodaispalis @red00t3d52092 @scenicresorts You sound liberal to me. Back in my day we ate McDonald's all the time and has meatloaf every sunday!! They used to have bitches take their tops off on WWE too and they would just be in their underwear!! Now we have men dominating woman's sports and the left says fuck us!!!
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@red00t3d52092 @scenicresorts I believe the food safety requirements for non-dairy creamer is 48-50 degrees or below, but I could be wrong. Either way, I choose not to have it! It tastes like pure chemicals to me.
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@CuriousBunnie12 Everybody told me being pregnant was so magical! Yet I hated every moment of it. But now I have this beautiful creature with thoughts and dreams that won’t let me walk away unless she gives me a kiss. She’s perfect and kind and I can’t imagine the world without her in it.
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@CuriousBunnie12 I’m still Me, but I’m the Me part of myself that is Her Mom, if that makes sense. I share my likes and I encourage her to share her likes. If I’m sleepy but she wants a snack, I put Me aside for Her. I didn’t have that pregnancy connection like some do but I love my girl.
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granted I haven’t given birth yet but a sobering part of pregnancy was that it didn’t magically turn me into this perfect Madonna figure. i still have the same bad habits, wants, needs and neuroses as I did before I got pregnant
The Alpine Elf 🇨🇭🇦🇹🇭🇷🇫🇷🇩🇪🇱🇮🇲🇨🇸🇮@magicinthealps
"Motherhood will completely rewire your brain. Complete ego death. It is when you become an adult" Will it, though? Sure, creating and nurturing a life will change your identity, as well as your body + thinking. Yet this very romantic framing seems naive.
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@chakravartiiin I started having suicidal thoughts at 8 years old
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Pardon me but how does a ten year old get depressed much less take such an extreme step like this? Do kids even have such emotional capacity at that age? This does not make sense to me at all.
WTF@mrwtffacts
In 2025, after a long battle with depression, 10-year-old Liberty Hall tragically took her own life. She left behind this note for her mother, apologizing, and asking her not to blame herself 💔
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Des Keen retweetledi
Finished wordle, crossword, connections, spelling bee, strands and sudoku. Time to go to the liquor store
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When I was giving birth I remember saying “I can’t, I can’t” while fully knowing it was too late now and the baby was coming out whether I ‘could’ or not lol
深爪＠新刊「深爪極 だいたい困って、たまに助かる」4/10発売@fukazume_taro
「女性は痛みに強い」って説、たぶん「出産に耐えられるから」が根拠なんだろうけど、あれは「あ、ちょっと無理なんでやめます」ができないから耐えざるをえないだけで普通に死ぬほど痛いです。
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Des Keen retweetledi
@itsCSB__ I thought I was insane for keeping mine at 76 (mainly to pull the humidity out, and the house is often empty)…72-74 if it’s exceptionally hot out and 68 or lower if we have guests. I cannot IMAGINE keeping it in the 80s…and then whining about making somebody deal with it!
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bro sets the thermostat to WHAT in the summer??????????
rosey🌹@thechosenberg
Completely normal 19 year old behavior
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Des Keen retweetledi
Thanks to the @oasishealthapp I’ve switched from poisonous FairLife Protein Milk to Bourbon and I can’t even begin to explain how much healthier I feel.
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Des Keen retweetledi
I had a crush on Ross Perot when I was a child. The Monkees was my favorite Nick At Nite show. I used to keep extra quarters so I could call my grandma from the phone bank at school to ask if I could walk there instead of taking the bus home. Oregon Trail was life or death.
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My parents wanted to keep track of me so they gave me a pager.
ً@An0rexik
Age yourself without using a number.
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Applied for one job during the early days of online applications, as a teenager. Couldn’t get to the end of the application because I had no prior work experience and the site wouldn’t accept ‘N/A’ as an answer.
carolina 🍒@heartsfordnp
Hi quick question! How am I supposed to get a job if every job requires work experience but I can't get work experience because you need work experience to get work experience but I can't get work experience because you need work experience to get work experierience but I can't g
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@mollywidstrom A broken yellow crayon, an off-brand lighter, a bic pen that exploded years ago. At least four Taco Bell sauce packets. Three keys that you don’t know what they go to. A Blistex. A lump of pennies that are soldered together by unknown goo.
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loose screws, allen wrenches, hair ties
solé@layxsnv
I’m starting a junk drawer. What else do I need to put in it??
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