jansport dunkin

(sitting on a couch staring at a tv that’s playing a compilation of every decision I’ve ever made) Ah, a testament to my feebleness. Oh I remember this one, my feebleness was guiding me. Interesting, how feeble of me. Yep. Testament to my feebleness. Feeble again, of course

here's a tip! if you're interested in eating faster, just don't chew

when Turtle takes his hat off... you know you're in for a crazy episode of entourage

@zoeeeeeeezoe i need to see the script.

I thought I was having a stroke

i saw goody proctor with the devil. i was hanging out with one of the devil's friends from high school at the time. we went on one okay date and we've been texting but idk its kind of fizzling.

protein powder is a miraculous invention because not only does it make an otherwise delicious smoothie taste like shit, it also smells weird.

many thought dead salmon on the head was just another microtrend, but it's proving to be a timeless classic. don't be afraid to pull out this staple piece!

@zoeeeeeeezoe only one dealbreaker. it HAS to be in america.

@oldpalcal We insist on a view of the Eiffel Tower. That’s in Amsterdam right?

when they film an episode of house hunters international do you think they have to tell one person to be a miserable evil freak bitch the entire time or do they do that intuitively

@zoeeeeeeezoe stairs aren't good because our schnauzer, Bo, is arthritic. if there's room for my elderly mother that's great but no worries if not, a trampoline room is more important.

@oldpalcal We want to live in the middle Amsterdam but I also need a three car garage. We don’t need bedrooms for our children because I don’t like them.

@zoeeeeeeezoe my wife has a job but i actually want to live by the beach. and im willing to do anything to tank this marriage.

@oldpalcal I think they’re both miserable evil freak bitches and one of them has to try really hard to be kind and good for the camera

The Lantern Bearers, by American painter Maxfield Parrish (1908). Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art.

the muppets are so real to me that even when i see a muppet with a muppeteer attached to them it doesn't register as a puppet to me. like yeah that's just the guy who hangs out underneath kermit. that's normal.

david attenborough: [mumbling] skip. i dont like this animal. skip it.

overdrafting at vons

im gonna say something. snoopy is fucking adorable.

why would you use ai to show me a video of natalie imbruglia's different haircuts over the years. why are you showing me this. im sure she looked great i dont care i didnt need you to use the energy equivalent of fifty MRIs to show me this.

@ALEXF0RREST @lunch_enjoyer @neilllynskey neill looking handsome in his suit!

roommate drama @lunch_enjoyer @neilllynskey

when desmond from LOST is on another tv show its like oh my god its desmond from LOST