OneFunnyMummy

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OneFunnyMummy

OneFunnyMummy

@OneFunnyMummy

Author of What It Means To Be a Mom out now

Katılım Ocak 2014
16.9K Takip Edilen42.2K Takipçiler
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OneFunnyMummy
OneFunnyMummy@OneFunnyMummy·
Now what? -my kid, eating an ice cream cone holding a new toy riding a pony on the beach in the summertime sun
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tinasugandh
tinasugandh@TinaSugandh·
🚨MOTHERS DAY ALERT! If you need a mother's day gift idea RUN and check out this super fun, lighthearted but also comically-profound book "What It Means To Be a Mom" by @onefunnymummy. (In her profile link). It does not dissapoint and it's UNDER price… instagr.am/p/CcYXTH6OaEK/
tinasugandh tweet media
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OneFunnyMummy
OneFunnyMummy@OneFunnyMummy·
Every mom needs to know she’s not alone even if all she wants is to be left alone.
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Snarky Mommy
Snarky Mommy@SnarkyMommy78·
Me: *goes to bed extra early to catch up on sleep* 5yo: *wakes up extra early to catch up on mommy time, apparently*
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Stay at Homie
Stay at Homie@stayathomies·
My 3yo to the cashier at the grocery store: "My mommy does meth good." Me: "MATH, I do math good." *heads home to tidy up for my surprise CPS visit.*
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Jacana Mommy
Jacana Mommy@jacanamommy·
Today is the first day of school for my kids. They only go for 2 hrs. I get to drop them off, go home to use the bathroom and then go back to pick them up.
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Anecdotal Birthcontrol
Anecdotal Birthcontrol@AnecdtlBrthCtrl·
Bedtime is pretty much the only thing I don't procrastinate on.
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yelisa
yelisa@beingyelisa·
Hear me out. A new toddler clothing line called “I Don’t Need Help” where all of the clothing is already inside out and always backwards.
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𝓶♡
𝓶♡@Love_bug1016·
a girl at starbucks complimented my lip gloss. i didn’t have the heart to tell her it was grease from the rotisserie chicken i just ate in the parking lot.
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The Dad Briefs
The Dad Briefs@SladeWentworth·
The last dirty dish won’t reveal itself until you’ve scrubbed the kitchen sink clean. I don’t make the rules.
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Satirical Mommy
Satirical Mommy@SatiricalMommy·
Me: Age is just a number My body: Nope
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yelisa
yelisa@beingyelisa·
Our toddler is currently loving the movie Brave and keeps pronouncing the name of the princess as Mierda instead of Merida, and I hope you all know that mierda is shit in spanish so our next family get together will be interesting
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Mommy Cusses
Mommy Cusses@mommy_cusses·
A kid's witching hour is any that ends in A.M. or P.M.
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Sarcastic Mommy
Sarcastic Mommy@sarcasticmommy4·
My friends are all planning exotic vacations & I’m over here like, “Let’s eat dinner outside tonight.”
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Scary Mommy
Scary Mommy@ScaryMommy·
I just paid for a yearly plan for extra cloud storage so I can continue saving hundreds of identical pictures of my sleeping children. But I’m gonna wait for a free shipping coupon before ordering my multivitamins. Priorities.
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Momming Glory
Momming Glory@momming_glory·
My husband and I have been happily married for 7 years. Today I discovered that he pours in milk before the cereal. I'm gonna need a minute to recover from this.
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Karen
Karen@AntsyButterfly·
7: you're so dramatic. Me: that's fresh coming from you
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Rhyming Mama
Rhyming Mama@sarabellab123·
One time, when I was a hostess at Chili’s, someone called and asked me what the phone number was. She thanked me, hung up and called back 2 seconds later to make a reservation. It’s been 20 years and I still think about it.
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