OneFunnyMummy

Now what? -my kid, eating an ice cream cone holding a new toy riding a pony on the beach in the summertime sun

@TinaSugandh Aww thanks Tina! Happy Early Mother’s Day to you! 💗

🚨MOTHERS DAY ALERT! If you need a mother's day gift idea RUN and check out this super fun, lighthearted but also comically-profound book "What It Means To Be a Mom" by @onefunnymummy. (In her profile link). It does not dissapoint and it's UNDER price… instagr.am/p/CcYXTH6OaEK/

@SnarkyMommy78 😘❤️

@OneFunnyMummy 💯💯💯

Every mom needs to know she’s not alone even if all she wants is to be left alone.

Me: *goes to bed extra early to catch up on sleep* 5yo: *wakes up extra early to catch up on mommy time, apparently*

My 3yo to the cashier at the grocery store: "My mommy does meth good." Me: "MATH, I do math good." *heads home to tidy up for my surprise CPS visit.*

Today is the first day of school for my kids. They only go for 2 hrs. I get to drop them off, go home to use the bathroom and then go back to pick them up.

Bedtime is pretty much the only thing I don't procrastinate on.

Hear me out. A new toddler clothing line called “I Don’t Need Help” where all of the clothing is already inside out and always backwards.

a girl at starbucks complimented my lip gloss. i didn’t have the heart to tell her it was grease from the rotisserie chicken i just ate in the parking lot.

@DrDinaKulik Forever and ever 💗

Every day we are all things to those little humans.⁠ ⁠ How are you feeling today? 👇🏼⁠ ⁠ Thanks, @onefunnymummy ❤️ #simplymamahood #momlifestyle #parentlife

The last dirty dish won’t reveal itself until you’ve scrubbed the kitchen sink clean. I don’t make the rules.

Me: Age is just a number My body: Nope

Our toddler is currently loving the movie Brave and keeps pronouncing the name of the princess as Mierda instead of Merida, and I hope you all know that mierda is shit in spanish so our next family get together will be interesting

A kid's witching hour is any that ends in A.M. or P.M.

My friends are all planning exotic vacations & I’m over here like, “Let’s eat dinner outside tonight.”

I just paid for a yearly plan for extra cloud storage so I can continue saving hundreds of identical pictures of my sleeping children. But I’m gonna wait for a free shipping coupon before ordering my multivitamins. Priorities.

My husband and I have been happily married for 7 years. Today I discovered that he pours in milk before the cereal. I'm gonna need a minute to recover from this.

7: you're so dramatic. Me: that's fresh coming from you

One time, when I was a hostess at Chili’s, someone called and asked me what the phone number was. She thanked me, hung up and called back 2 seconds later to make a reservation. It’s been 20 years and I still think about it.