Patrik Engborg
1.1K posts

Patrik Engborg
@patrikengborg
Building things for the web since the last millennium.
🇸🇪 Katılım Haziran 2009
76 Takip Edilen131 Takipçiler

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@jmrphy If you think playing catch is unbearable, you will be in for a very unpleasant ride as he grows older.
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Am I just a monster? It's been 4 years since I became a father and I'm beginning to fear for my soul. The truth is I just don't like being around kids for very long. Historically, this is not uncommon among fathers, but today it feels almost illegal. It's causing me a lot of confusion and anguish.
The ideal amount of time I would like to spend playing with my kids is probably about 70-140 minutes a week—roughly ten minutes each day, maybe 2x/day, taking breaks from work. My feelings of love toward them are perfectly strong, but if I have to watch them or entertain them for more than about 10 minutes my blood starts to boil. I just want to be working, or accomplishing something. I try to be grateful, but it doesn't work.
It's 9 AM this morning, Saturday, January 3. It's a sunny, warm day here in Austin, and my four-year-old son is begging me to play catch in the street. I was drinking coffee, still waking up, so I didn’t really feel like it, but at this age his desire to play is insatiable. He begged and begged, so I conceded, and with a smile. I have no problem being a kind and loving father, the problem is only that I do not enjoy it. It's not that I'm trying to maximize my personal pleasure; it just seems wrong that I experience so little delight when my dad friends all claim to experience so much.
It was beautiful. We live on a picturesque, tree-lined block. I am even relatively relaxed from the holiday rest. Playing catch with your son is supposed to be an iconic, peak experience. Yet for every single minute, on the inside, I just don't want to be there. I want to be drinking my coffee in peace. Then I feel guilty and absurdly ungrateful, and ashamed, when we're done. I know that when he is a teenager, I'll long to have these days back. I have all of this perspective rationally, and I've been very patient and steadfast trying to digest it, but nothing fixes me emotionally.
Am I a terrible person? Or is my feeling within a certain range of historically normal and it's modern parenting norms that are off? Whether it's my fault or not, I don't even care, I just want to figure this out. Something is wrong and I no longer have the excuse of being new to this.
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@EffectNative @EffectTS_ Getting hands dirty is the only way to go! Thanks for the tips, really helps.
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@patrikengborg @EffectTS_ Same. But getting my hands dirty trying to use it for stuff helped a lot. And doing the 2025 Effect Days workshop was a HUGE help
And having all the example repos checked out lets me ask Claude questions like: what’s the idiomatic way to read an Option.Option value ?!
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My feed is full of @EffectTS_ stuff and now I’m fully commited to learn and start using it. Too bad I’ve never felt this lost before when picking up a new tool 🤯
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@MichaelArnaldi @EffectTS_ Yep, I know that virus from other tools, often a good sign.
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@patrikengborg @EffectTS_ That's stage 1 of the virus spreading
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@bishalr0y @EffectTS_ Thanks! Yeah, that’s my feeling too.
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@patrikengborg @EffectTS_ I'm sure you will pick it up and the efforts will be worth it
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Makes me almost wan to to de-tailwindize. Good read.
zolkos.com/2025/12/03/van…
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Don't let the name fool you, Nuxt UI works with way more than just @nuxt_js! 💥
Think @laravelphp, @adonisframework, and of course, @vuejs!
Plus, we've got starters to get you rolling fast.
Check 'em out: github.com/nuxt-ui-templa…

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One of my latest obsessions is @instant_db. It’s incredible. I wish every developer starting a Supabase project would try it. Or maybe not. This cheat code is almost too good to share.
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I needed some weather icons for a project and found these neat animated SVG's
bas.dev/work/meteocons
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@dqnamo @instant_db I am 👋 Currently rebuilding eventlist.io with it. Should probably start tweeting about the progress.
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who else is building with @instant_db ? want to follow a bunch of people who are
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@hunvreus I just gave you a star. Now, let me try /dev/push with SvelteKit.
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Turns out I didn’t even need Turborepo. Bun workspaces alone did the job just fine.
Should I write a post about setting up Bun workspaces with SvelteKit and deploying to Cloudflare?
Patrik Engborg@patrikengborg
Tried this whole monorepo thing and actually liked it. Took some serious effort to set up, but having a shared UI package across projects is slick. SvelteKit + @turborepo, hosted on @Cloudflare 🔥
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