Paul O'Keeffe

@jimmcslim Aaarrrrrrrr...

Good sir! How many doubloons for your 94.5 barleycorn monitor?

What we are practising is physical distancing, not social distancing. Socially, we need to be closer than ever before.

This is great: youtu.be/Nw5KQMXDiM4

If only governments had spent as much on COVID surveillance as they do on covert surveillance.

Is it really so wrong that I put as much Vegemite on my toast as @tomhanks? Look at what it did for his recuperative powers.

@twasink ET phone home...

@paul_okeeffe Plus, if they're tracking you by your phone, it's easy to give them the slip...

Pretty comfortable with giving away my mobile location data right now for the common good, since it only gives away one well known data point. My home address. I’m staying put.

@twasink I swear it was just me in my jammies.

@twasink Had a big problem with the Oxford Comma there, didn’t I?

Felt remarkably underdressed compared to some people taking my bins out tonight.

Etymology question: Do sanitiser and sanity come from the same root word?

At our house, we have renamed the year 2020 to 20-Glen-20.

@ssanj Stop making me laugh while I’m eating, you cruel, cruel man.

@paul_okeeffe You're isolated. You will have to tweet for help.

The world order has been overturned. Our time has come. Introverts will now rule the world.

@ssanj Cough. Cough.

@paul_okeeffe without the deadly potato chips.

@flyosity Should it not be an Allen key?

IKEA just posted this to their Facebook account 😂

@ssanj Exactly as it should be.

@paul_okeeffe Separately and from our own homes.

When do programs die? A great answer:

@davekinkead Garden hose bidet?

@mattallen @CostasGarden The one constant in a troubled world.

Watching Gardening Australia atm. @CostasGarden’s beard is calming in these times.