PMMa

@eshaanakbar The answers to this question are the reason for @elonmusk and his staff to shut Twitter down.

Hey man. My dad was born in Pakistan and came here when he was 15 and my mum was born in Bangladesh and came here when she was 16. I was born, raised, worked in England. Where would you deport me to please?

@dukeandplough one of my favourite seats. Unreal that this was a regular Friday night spot for my wife and me 13 ish years ago. Kids eh?! I shall be in more, walking our puppy the short distance here and back 👍🏻🍻🐶

@djmeiso I was looking forward to a good sleep last night, but the wind was playing havoc with the bins and recycling bags in the street. Tin cans rolling on asphalt is quite a noise, plus youngest was in our bed making it way too warm. Less wind tonight please

@kmontaguekate @NadineDorries says its GOAT on a boat

You’ve heard of elf on a shelf, now get ready for

Have an e-bike or e-scooter? Use the manufacturer- recommended battery and charger. #ebikeandescootersafety

@80s_Kidz Robocop can go

One has to go. Which one would you get rid of?

Have an e-bike or e-scooter? Use the manufacturer-recommended battery and charger. #ebikeandescootersafety

@fesshole My letting agent advised me not to pay tax on my rental income. What a prat

I work for a letting agent and every week I pick a landlord to report to HMRC for not paying tax on their rental income. No regrets.

@MartinSLewis you may already have seen this nonsense?

@KathyBurke It's strange seeing comments to Facebook posts recycled each year, from friends who have passed away in the meantime

Ah, it’s that time of year again when you go through your contacts and delete the dead.

🎁🎄Xmas Competition! 🎄🎁 One lucky person will win the following: 🏆 RWC 2003 20th Anniversary Stash 🏆 🦁 @LionsOfficial Replica Jersey Signed by Me 🦁 🎥 Video message for a friend or family member 🎥 To Enter: 🌟 Follow & Retweet 🌟 🎅🏻 Ends 18.12.23 at 23.59🎅🏻

@RoyalMailHelp I've sent a DM as requested

@RoyalMailHelp hi, I posted (first class) a birthday card via my local postbox on Wednesday 6 December. The metal "day tag" said "TUE". I've returned to the same postbox today to post Christmas cards, and the day tag still says "TUE". Will my cards be collected for delivery?

@BrewDog some idiot just spilled Elvis Juice down myself. My 4mth old puppy LOVES it. Hoping she'll not get pished from her lapping #goodtaste

@ATRightMovies @JimCameron @Bosslogic What threads were designed for

At the same time, the directors of AVENGERS: ENDGAME, the Russo brothers, sent Cameron their own image, saying: "Passing the gauntlet back to you... @JimCameron Thanks for the beautiful art @bosslogic." 11/11

There's a tradition of film directors and studios congratulating each other for beating their box office records. In 1977, when STAR WARS beat Jaws to become the highest-grossing movie ever, Steven Spielberg took out the below ad for George Lucas in @Variety 1/11

@ATRightMovies A really good movie. One I'll always recommend

Ray Liotta, Annabella Sciorra, and Sylvester Stallone at the premiere of COP LAND in New York, 1997.

@jblegaltraining I only have one of these books. Hint, hint

Your annual reminder that these would make an excellent Christmas present, either for someone else, as a secret Santa gift or for yourself. See pinned tweet for details.

@Parody_PM Aren't bells meant to be hung on the Christmas tree?

Your captions please...

@fesshole "not" or "now"?

Fell out with my neighbour last winter when a tile fell off his house onto my car. He refused to claim on his home insurance so I claimed on my car insurance, paying an excess fee. I'm not plotting the best way of causing £500 of damage to his property to even the score.

@djmeiso Yep. 49, eek