Dan Phipps

@Aisleyne1 @metpoliceuk I am smiling ear to ear

Thank you and sorry @metpoliceuk 🥺🙏

@benonwine I would love to say it but it’s too offensive, and it’s not a car.

If Margaret Thatcher was a Rolls Royce, what would that make Angela Rayner?

@TowelyTowel @JaneFallon She will smash it, I have no doubt. If she can live with @rickygervais , cancer has no chance

Ok, we need to rewrite the headline “Best-seller author Jane Fallon, 43, diagnosed with breast cancer. Fallon’s boi-toy thespian opportunist Rodney Germans, 67, say “yeah, did you know I make vodka? Dutch Barn made with natural English apples 🍏 ” @JaneFallon ❤️❤️❤️

@terrychristian Shitty shitty gang bang?

Name the musical

⁦@rickygervais⁩ another angle on the bleach drinkers Ricky. instagram.com/reel/DU_-WUtDC…

@purbrooktony @SalisburyCC Give @Nigel_Farage a call Tony, he can come and do another cringy PR stunt! youtu.be/QFyNqd9RE0k?si…

Hey @SalisburyCC sort your potholes out. My son and his family are stranded after hitting this f**king crater putting their lives at risk because of your lack of urgency to spend money. It's a disgrace.

@benonwine CtlAltDel

Describe Bill Gates in ONE Word?

@ChrisGPackham @MeganMcCubbin @NDHuntSabs @HuntSabs Comedy gold from @ChrisGPackham as he speaks the truth for a worthy and under publicised cause, he needs repost from someone with mega reach @rickygervais ? 🙏 Well done Chris!

“Shouldn’t you be looking at a tit somewhere?” “I am!” Locals and those speaking up have to deal with intimidation from fox hunts and it’s not right. #OperationSmokescreen @MeganMcCubbin @NDHuntSabs @HuntSabs

@rickygervais @purbrooktony and Dawn French

@purbrooktony Billy Connolly and Les Dawson as I remember.

I wish my mum could've seen some of this. She would've told me not to swear.

It wouldnt let me use audio sorry, I you will have to read instead!

As soon as X lets me!!! 😡

Ever wondered @rickygervais what AI thinks of your material? I got mine to analyse the first few mins of #goldenglobes2020 The results were insightful, audio attached in comments! When a critic or virtue signaller criticises you in future. Maybe tell them to ask ChatGPT to explain the joke first . #itslayered #rickygervais #comedystructure

Yesterday I posted a video about the situation in Iran, today I deleted it. Read the open letter to find out why. #standwithiran #iran #irandiaspora #truthpartners instagram.com/reel/DURqJm-Ap…

Iranian PM says is prepared to make a ‘fair and equitable’ deal with the US. Where was the ‘fair equitable deal ’ for the innocent Iran citizens who were murdered in their thousands? @realDonaldTrump @CNN #IranMassacre #IranianRevolution2026 youtu.be/k9V_ypaLTaM?si…

@omid9 Yeah but, like, my dad’s bigger than your dad, and your sister smells of wee.

In response to the EU putting the IRGC on the terrorist list, Islamic Regime Parliament Speaker Ghalibaf declares all the armies of European countries as terrorist groups. It’s like they’re five years old. “I’m a terrorist? No, YOU’RE a terrorist!” This is the end. #IranMassacre #IranianRevolution2026

@WhiteHouse I posted this video today to shed some light on what seems to be happening. Facts checked, no sleight of hand diversional magic tricks here!

“…Hopefully Iran will quickly “Come to the Table” and negotiate a fair and equitable deal - NO NUCLEAR WEAPONS - one that is good for all parties. Time is running out, it is truly of the essence! As I told Iran once before, MAKE A DEAL…” - President DONALD J. TRUMP