piersb

Nicki Minaj

Sir Keir will be getting the nuclear codes around about now (1234)

“Tell Jabba I’ve got his money”

I made my mind up about Keir Starmer's character years ago. It’s an account of what felt like intimidation by a senior barrister against a pupil barrister - me. It’s a highly personal account I share now for the first time, as Sir Keir is poised to lead Labour into government. My experience may interest those keen to gain insight into the man’s character when he thinks no one that matters is looking. Twenty-two years ago, I was a 32-year-old 'baby barrister'. It was 2002, and I had won one of four places at the prestigious Doughty Street Chambers (DCS) to complete my ‘2nd six’ - six months of training, the last hurdle before becoming a fully qualified practising barrister. The second six months of pupillage is that heady moment when we pupil barristers rise to our feet for the first time in court to advocate for our lay client or on behalf of the state. It’s an incredibly steep learning curve, which one is guided through by a pupil supervisor, pupil mistress, or master in old money. It’s a notoriously difficult and competitive process; in the end, pupils compete for a permanent tenancy or seat in chambers. So, when DSC asked me who I wanted to guide me through pupillage and who I wanted as my pupil supervisor, I asked for Keir Starmer. I was ever so gently informed that Keir wasn’t taking pupils any longer. Honestly, I wouldn’t have been Keir Starmer pupil material. I just wasn’t good enough. So, I requested one of the barristers who conducted my second interview at DSC, the brilliant Philippa Kaufmann. As it turned out, Kaufmann was Keir Starmer’s recent ex-long-term partner, and she agreed to be my pupil supervisor. I wasn’t Phillippa Kaufmann pupil material either, and I will always be grateful to her for taking me on nonetheless. Like Keir, Philippa was on an apparent trajectory to the very top. Like Keir, both would soon take silk and become Queen’s Counsel, as it was known under the reign of Elizabeth II. These were heady days, exciting and utterly terrifying. I was in awe of practically everything and everyone at DSC. I got to experience human rights law as practised by some of the finest barristers in the country. Almost everyone at DSC was friendly and offered to help with any urgent questions or situations a newly qualified barrister was bound to need help navigating, with one standout exception — Keir Starmer. Although I was at DSC for over two years and attended the big bash Keir threw when he took silk in 2002, which was entirely by convention, the pupils were automatically invited; Keir Starmer never once acknowledged me during all of that time, never said ‘hello’ that I can recall. There are things you are strongly advised not to do as a pupil: don’t get drunk at chambers parties and don’t get a crush on your pupil supervisor. So, of course, I did both. I fell in love with my pupil supervisor, Phillippa Kaufmann. It was ridiculous, of course, but at the time, it felt incredibly serious. Just like getting drunk at chambers parties, it was something that was known about at DSC. One evening in chambers, I was in an otherwise empty clerks room at DSC with Phillippa doing some paperwork when we were joined, entirely by coincidence, first by Paul Brooks, who would become Phillippa’s partner and the father of her children and then Keir Starmer. It was awkward, and it was tense. No one was talking. No one was looking at each other. We just got on with whatever we were working on, sitting or standing a couple of feet away from each other. Keir Starmer seemed to me to be quite furious. We all sat silently: the ex-partner, the new partner to be, and the lesbian with a crush. Sometime later that evening, I walked out of DSC onto Doughty Street. As I did so, I encountered Keir Starmer directly opposite, preparing to ride his bicycle away from chambers. When he saw me, he stopped, faced me, and stood there glaring at me, saying not a word. What do you do when you are a pupil and the leading barrister of his generation, a complete superstar, is apparently trying to intimidate you? I imagine the pupil’s handbook would tell me to walk away, now. I stopped, faced him, and glared right back, saying nothing. There we stood, staring each other down from across Doughty Street - Keir Starmer and a lowly pupil, for what felt like minutes. There are some things no amount of education can teach you. I may not have grasped the intricacies of human rights law, but I knew how to stand my ground in the face of what I saw as this man’s attempt to intimidate me. Kier Starmer eventually gave up, hopped on his bicycle and cycled away - and only then did I walk away. Whatever Sir Keir’s many achievements, I will never forget the character of the man I encountered that evening on Doughty Street. Despite this, I would vote for Keir Starmer’s Labour if I believed that women’s rights and lesbian rights were safe in his hands at this pivotal moment in history, but I don’t. I predict that Keir Starmer will sell women and lesbians down the river unless we make it politically impossible for him to do so. We have formed alliances across political lines. This is our great strength. Let us bring it to bear now.

Sorry does Keir Starmer actually understand the job he's trying to get elected into? This is an absolutely ludicrous thing to say. Prime Minister of the world's 5th largest economy is not a job you can clock out of at 6pm.

It’s after 6pm so of course Angela Rayner is back in charge.