dray

the knorr bouillon hotline put me on hold for 3.5 hours. i have a boullion emergency

[reading a book in first person] i dont remember doing any of this

how many dates before she starts letting you use the indoor bathroom?

have you ever had a day so good it feels like you’re a dog they’re putting down tomorrow

Everyone hates living in a rental home until it’s time to get rid of a huge saucepan of oil

nursing this cigarette as if it were a baby in the neonatal intensive care unit

i hate your ugly face , but will defend with my life your right to wear it

I prostitute my beautiful brain for 2 likes on the Everything App

Hi mate I'm a street photographer and I love your look. Can I take some pics of you. Great. Yeah you can look me up on insta I'm "Losers Getting Their Steps In". all one word

just uploading my cute cat video to twitter. but first i must choose the worst song ever made to accompany it with

(Yoda stunned into normal speech for once in his life) I love you

meteorologists always on the local news station looking proud of their forecastslop

two professionals you may keep on retainer: - attorney - samurai (侍) consider the value each can bring to your small business.

workplace christmas party under the fordist model consists of passing a single baileys irish cream down the assembly line

guy at the dealership recommended leasing a ford escape as i "seemed a man impelled to drop everything and go. one who cant bear to spend another minute in that house. who is constantly belittled and whose sacrifice goes wholly unappreciated." but i bought the Toyota instead

WASHINGTON (AP) — Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. denies microplastics link, blames “adolescent boys placing the DualShock controller on their testicles” for male infertility crisis.

vaguely mediterranean man teaching you his sexual techniques, frustrated that you're not understanding his instructions: imagine to swim in jelly

'organ donors' are performative altruists. so you only want to do a good deed when you're dead?

my wikipedia account "Caucasian_whistleblower" has been banned for adding '...is a white...' to every celebrity page

welp. anti-intellectualism is here to stay. i tried testing my experiment, Spark plug vs Airplane window, and was quickly subdued by the federal air marshal.

sabrina carpenter do you like yu-gi-oh cards