Micky McTattie

Wife to husband.... Where did you get the scratches on your neck? Husband... Me and the guys went kayaking, when out of the blue, a seal appeared and slapped me on my neck with an octopus! Wife... Do you really think I'm that fucking stupid!

@flcro @LauraEWebsterr Eh? I was talking about the joke ya balloon

@rackandrule @LauraEWebsterr It takes a particularly twisted kind of hatred to drag NS into this. This is about an unelected POS who is about to either screw up any Reform vote there might have been, or else be rapidly removed before he does that. Nothing to do with NS. As you are well aware.

NEW: We are publishing the disgusting homophobic joke Malcolm Offord told and had to apologise for. It is in the public interest that people know the abhorrent language the Reform UK Scotland leader chose to use Refusing to publish this would effectively be protecting him.

@LauraEWebsterr It sounds like the kind of joke ooor Nikla’s favourite comedienne would have told.

Read the story here. We have chosen to remove the paywall so Scotland can see for itself what Malcolm said in full. thenational.scot/politics/25966…

@DreyfusJames @SadButMadLad Mx Flump is currently consulting their lawyers after you outed them on social media 😂😂

To those people saying I “breached an individual’s right to privacy” by posting a photo of someone’s dirty shoes up on a train seat, I say this… Identify the individual. Should be easy, yes? I mean those pumps positively scream Tanya Flump from 117a Terracotta Avenue, Rhyl…

@Fat_Jacques @grok I put a picture of my daughter in law with my twin grandsons and it had the three of them singing. It was a bit unnerving at first, they were only four months at the time, but it was brilliant!

It is crazy how good it is. Though it fails with some 3D objects. It doesn’t know how mechanical things work. But still amazing. I gave it a photo of my father in law sitting in a wheelchair and asked it to change the wheelchair for an arm chair. It did that perfectly, though it took a few attempts. That would have been the work of a good Photoshopper with a perfect armchair reference picture to use. Grok Imagine does it in seconds.

I have been playing with @grok imagine again. Quite amazing.

Honestly, what is the point of PMQ’s?

@thesundaysport @HBrubanter At least they stuck to it……

Warm beer, scrapped juries, gulags, death pods, billions to give away islands we already own, nonce pals in the Washington embassy, no growth, higher taxes... I'm suprised anyone voted for that manifesto

@MarcherReborn @Coral “Right the fers fing I’m gonna do is reduce da unimploying innit bro”

Angela Rayner 11/4 fav to be our next Prime Minister with @coral

She’s right and wrong! The people on HMT Empire Windrush came on their own volition. They were never invited. But between 1950 and 1971, people were actively recruited in the West Indies with the backing of the British Government.

You post is a load of cobblers, then you try to regain the upper hand when you’re proven wrong! Are you self employed? If so, you are a tax avoider, it’s just a question of scale.

Happy birthing person day to those that celebrate

@JockAyeTheNoo Indeed and no poofy driving this time!

@rackandrule We'll need to get a wee tweet up organised. It's been too long.

Robbing bastards.

@minimooey Don’t forget your bib……

I'm having fish pie with dauphinoise potatoes - stay with me on this I know its a double bubble of spuds but the Irish in my genes says you can NEVER have too many spuds! - and peas for dinner this evening.

@BrianSpanner1 “It will be put out to tender” GCC “We’ve got someone” “Oh, after a thorough tendering process, I’m happy to announce that Ferguson Marine will be overseeing the rebuild. The cost is expected to be £10M and will be completed by the end of 2027, or 2073”

Hahaha rebuild. This is a £100 million job.

@HBrubanter My wife says, “do you fancy a steak and kidley pie tomorrow”

I frequently work with an excellent lady engineer in a very male dominated industry. I like and admire her, and she's great at her job. I'm careful not to come across as sexist or patronising as she suffers that nonsense frequently. However, she keeps saying 'pacifically'...

@GuidoFawkes “I knew your abilities were genuine Zak”

Caption Contest (Peas in a Pod Edition) order-order.com/2026/03/13/cap…

@DrDStarkeyCBE @SuperbikeAl I think this chap proves your point beyond any doubt……

Every so often some third-rate university sociology department will concoct a study which purports to prove that left-wing people are cleverer than right-wing people. Of course much of this depends on one’s definition of clever. But I certainly think it’s true that conservatives are less good at thinking; by which I mean abstract philosophising. I mean this as the greatest compliment. Conservatives have intuitive understanding of right and wrong. They’re liberated from prevarication and tend to devote themselves rather to doing than mere thinking. Let me ask: are you as articulate as your left-wing friends? Let me also ask: who would you trust to actually get something done?

@minimooey Was it a brain scan? Sometimes it can take a while to find it…..😂😂😂😂 Runs

I had my ct scan over 7 weeks ago and still not got the results. I'm not worrying because no news is good news and they took ages last year.

Another example of the intelligencia. This is the mindset and ability of the majority of people who are currently running this country.