The Random Recruiter

Remote workers crawling to their laptop at 8:59 AM

@tunguz @HankYeomans 5/5 lol

Tough question.

@TheQuietLynx What about a $5 Starbucks gift card

@randomrecruiter At that point they should give you like an iPad goodie basket or something. One of those Hollywood thanks for coming to my party baskets

When you survive 7 rounds of interviews just to get the "we went with an internal candidate" email

@Target3690 Accurate

@randomrecruiter productivity doesn't drop during march madness. it was never there to begin with.

If you’re wondering why 90% of your team’s Microsoft Teams status is yellow right now, this is why

@Kaprozz69 💀💀💀

@randomrecruiter Had a cookie lady who misrepresented my experience and then sighed at me "I thought you had mor experience with that". I pointed out I had more and she never replied. She kept saying she's afraid of being replaced by AI. No wonder

When the recruiter ghosts you after saying "you're our top candidate" three weeks ago

@HeadmasterDuck Well give you one remote day per quarter as a thank you

@randomrecruiter I voted for you, but I'm not sure I like your opinions about WFH people /s

Vote for me or I will report you all for slacking off while WFH

@cjd_labs What a coincidence !

@randomrecruiter somehow all my “important” meetings got cancelled today…

@depressivehacks @JeffBezos

@randomrecruiter Stop blowing up my spot.

@randomrecruiter Now this makes sense why my PM took today and tomorrow off using PTO

@randomrecruiter This pic makes me so f'ing mad there's like zero stock holder value being added here.

@LeCodeBusiness That’s what happened to me lol

@randomrecruiter Friday at 4pm is the tell. Any HR call scheduled end of week end of day is a layoff. Three rounds of survival means nothing when round four comes from a calendar invite you can't decline.

When you lasted through three rounds of RIFs but finally get that calendar invite from HR for Friday at 4pm

@wyldsyntax One of my fav movies of all time

@randomrecruiter The CEO calling the head of HR about another round of layoffs

@Webmiester Happened with me too lol

@randomrecruiter Had something similar happen 24y ago. Had to sit with HR through every member of my team. The last meeting was my boss and me. Fun times. Thank God for employment contracts. But all the stock they gave me was worthless.

@Martinoleary 🥲

@randomrecruiter surviving three rounds just means they needed 3 rounds to figure out your salary.

@iamjasonlevin @bankof_amERICA

> be me > rent out movie theater to play IG Reels > post about it > Head of IG comms tags Zuck in the IG comments > IG team reaches out in under 48 hours with special surprise > you can just do things

@JerryJHLee The dog would be overqualified

at this point just hire a dog to recruit

@Kaprozz69 🫡

@randomrecruiter Yes boss

@randomrecruiter Isn’t it funny how “reporting” has turned into the new office power move? Next thing you know, we’ll be WFH with a whistleblower award.