sop

@BYOBert_Walker Nice!

Me pausing Netflix when they show boobs:

went #4

@jenni_tabler currently 41 weeks and can confirm it still feels just as bad

Hi I'm 21 weeks pregnant or something and I just wanted to say that I find the feeling of my fetus move actually kind of unpleasant. And when I say that to other people with kids they say, oh yeah it is kind of gross. She... Why is this something no one says publicly?

@fibulaa @binchcity @elizamclamb this y’all?

Just met someone that runs a charity and I asked what the charity is for and they said to raise awareness for non profits ❤️ okay

me: *telling what i think is a hilarious story from my childhood* friend: i’m so sorry that happened to you

@alamofilmguy thought that was @jonnymangs

Guillermo del Toro is the only one smart enough to take this picture.

i may be severely depressed but at least i have this (holds up kinda fucked up looking cat who adds a lot of stress to my life)

people seem to forget there was a time when we had to download a separate app if we wanted to use emojis. why aren’t we talking about that

me: i'll just take a normal water, please. no sugar in it. thanks. hummingbird maître d': [visibly disgusted] very good, madam...

blasted dog tried to steal me nuggets

@ecogggswell maybe 😭

@ecogggswell idk you but apparently we have the same life trajectory. wtf

Please…my son. He’s very sick.

just finished a five minute task that i’ve been putting off for 8 months. i will not learn anything from this

“I have the best advice for women in business,” Kim Kardashian says. “Get your f--king ass up and work. It seems like nobody wants to work these days.” wp.me/pc8uak-1lALFx

POV: you are a crunchy brown morsel

"ur so chill" thanks i gave up

can’t believe i found out betty white died via a home inspector’s tik tok

you want me to get in a car. The thing that killed Princess diana