Rosa Percs

@NotTodayEric Yes I am. I’m just trynna get a better tip though. And no, not his

Welcome to your 40s: the waitress is not hitting on you dude.

Caffeine is a little bitch addiction. Guilty.

@tashaneedshelp That’s what I say when I look in the mirror

Sometimes I look deep into your eyes and think, wow you’re dumb.

@_glizzyborden_ Me to my doctor

@bigdumb_baby No one wants to deal with chili shits on the plane :/

hey i’m not really good at expressing my feelings so i got you this cool rock instead

@bigdumb_baby Something indie ofc

@_glizzyborden_ Another common phrase: anxiety triggers

@VerifiedDrunk Drunk texting my ex and starting a fight = top tier entertainment

Anyone else celebrating Smashed Out Of My Fucking Mind Saturday tomorrow or just me?

@inkedwifelife21 Will forever be chopping my hair

question… is it true that men find women with long hair more attractive?

@TheDrunkJake Yes! I don’t want to know their life story and how the soup was made from potatoes handpicked by their 200 year old grandma who only has 7 fingers.

why are recipe websites like that?

@sheetz Ma’am you’ve been standing here for half an hour. Can I help you? Me: no thanks I’m just browsing

Browsing the MTO screen is our kind of window shopping

@MarkBuckawicki I’m going to throw one and follow wherever it leads

All the direction of a paper airplane

i would hate your bitch ass in any lifetime

@sadderlizards It wreaks of masculinity in here

really nice place you got here man. love all the holes that you punched in the wall

@50centsless @Reeseforsure I always ask this when I’m sitting on the floor surrounded by things I decided to organize while originally wanting to put away laundry

Let’s just speak in gifs for the rest of our lives.

@sadderlizards Depressed (with blinking lights)

i love this time of year i’m feeling very festive (depressed)

@funeralpig Just be glad they didn’t pull an uno reverse