sam

@Amy_P96 @CameronDoody_

Anyone available to collect me from Shrewsbury?😂😂 trains have been cancelled until 8am tomorrow and I’m now stranded 😊😊😊😊😊

@Scott808__ Lovehoney mate

Anyone know where I can get one?

@Scott808__ Dawely

Dawley

@Scott808__ Six year olds are dumb mate, what the fuck do they know about happiness

People will be shipping coordinator talking about ‘I enjoy my job’ like you was 6 years old thinking ‘I can’t wait to coordinate these ships’

@GucciFeline @HJosef

Are you even a history major if you dont know what these are?

@heisenleg @DanDavies1991 @SkyHelpTeam Yeah alright Karen

@Scott808__ I’ve just had to do a home work out and I think there’s some horse riding on for the weekend. Can you fuck off moaning please

My idea of a picnic is 6 tinnies in a field so there’s absolutely no way my mrs isn’t gunna be underwhelmed with what transpires today

@ScottishBantrr @joetrickett99

shagger yes I am

@_JAMaiden Mate, it’s not even in the house 😂

So much chocolate in the house #JanuaryTweets

@AlsBoy @HJosef

@Ketflix_Pills @Amy_P96 @_JAMaiden

@Scott808__ 18:06 : sobering up in a mood, watching the farmer needs a wife

My mrs just told me that where she’s from it’s forbidden to drink on Christmas Eve. This is about to be our first Xmas in the same house. She finishes work 4 hours after me. If you thought Red Bull knew how to put on a Culture Clash, come round mine on the 24th. Main event 17:15.

@jameschambers20 OH YOU BETTER BELIVE ITS HIM

@Amy_P96 50% gin 50% ger

I 🌸 took ✨ just a 💕 🌸 DNA 🌸 Test ✨ turns out ✨ 🌸 i'm 100% 💕 Gin after this weekend

@thomasleggatt1 Music to shout “oioi” in SouthShields to

@Scott808__ Decent that was

Look like they’re about to go and stick up a river bank

@Scott808__ Tbf I was dead disappointed when I saw you do one

Unpopular opinion but this trend of people saying ‘unpopular opinion’ then stating a popular opinion is well annoying

@Scott808__ @JakeAdamMaiden

The shortest amount of time measurable by human technology is the amount of time between you clocking that your foreskin is all bunched up in a mad way and then there being piss all up the bathroom wall

@Scott808__ Real shit