Samantha Armstrong

NO HE BROUGHT A GUITAR!!!! #TheBachelorette

No genuinely pissed at @TouchTunes fuck your update. This is terrible.

Hey @TouchTunes what the fuck is your update???? I can’t look up playlists or genres anymore???? Or am I dumb.

Hey @alexandracooper you were just a jeopardy question!!! #CallHerDaddy

How’s the ground been Mahomes????? #noonelikesuswedontcare #flyeaglesfly

And so it begins with the bullshit fucking calls

Getting into @skims is a workout but goddammit are they comfortable once on

Remember where you came from @taylorswift13

Idk what I’m more excited for, the @Eagles being in the Super Bowl or to be in Jamaica for a week 🤔🇯🇲💚🤍✌🏼

Truly, I would love to fight whoever things “extra cheese” doesn’t count as a second topping and instead is just extra. I’m not getting anything else why is it $3 for more cheese????? But if I got 5+ other toppings it’s free???

Am I naive for thinking that TikTok isn’t actually going to get banned? Like I don’t believe it….I’ve been like this for weeks

I’ve sent my friends so many Instagram memes today like please ignore me I don’t want to bother you but like they’re funny and I hope you love me and I will never change ✌🏼😁😘

I shouldn’t feel some type of way about my parents not wishing us a happy 1st anniversary but I truly feel SOME type of way about it….,,

@__jackieeeeeee Love you🩷🩷

going to pick up my father’s ashes today after having a total breakdown about it yesterday and not being able to muster the strength to go, so wish me luck. I’m gonna vomit 🙃

RIP to VPR. seasons 1-5 are some of the greatest television of all time. the OG cast living in dump apartments, actually needing their jobs at SUR, and being genuinely horrible to each other were the best days of our lives #PumpRules

How I felt at work today….

Hey @Nespresso, I really wanna know how I order something at 1pm on Saturday and it’s on my doorstep at 11 Sunday……what magic is that?? And on the weekend no less #happycustomer #impressive

I’m terrified of the world we’re about to live in.

I keep telling people I’m going to cry when I see Wicked….I think they think I’m joking…I’m 10000% serious, I have been waiting for this since it was teased in 2017 and have loved this musical since I was 10. I’ve seen it 3 times. I am not emotionally prepared. 🥹💚🩷 #Wicked

“AND SHE’S WORN THE SAME REPUTATION BODYSUIT FOR THE ENTIRE TOUR AND THAT ONE WAS BLACK AND RED BUT TONIGHT SHE HAS A NEW ONE AND IT’S BLACK AND GOLD AND SHE HASN’T RELEASED REPUTATION TAYLOR’S VERSION YET SO THIS HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT” #MiamiTSErasTour