Jumoke37

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Thank You for bringing us into this new week.We commit this week into Your hands. Guide our steps, grant us wisdom in all our decisions and bless the work of our hands.Provide for every need, strengthen us in our finances and let Your favour rest upon us. Protect us from harm. 🙏

I will never stop caring for myself, but I will distance myself from stress, unhealthy habits, and anything that threatens my health.

I just feel like there is some personal information people on the internet should not know about you. I understand you are hustling for Elon’s pay, but your post can come back to bite you. Breaking up with a talking stage because of a history of cancer may be valid to you, but announcing it on X is not the flex you think it is. Life can be so funny, and you might face health challenges tomorrow too. Sometimes, silence is golden.

Hello Vendorenas, It's a new week with new market opportunities. Market is open! Have you shared your business today? Quote this tweet with what you sell or the service you provide.

If not for my senior brother, who was with me, I would have nearly slapped someone today. If you've been to the big Winners' Church in Asaba along Ibusa Road, you'll know that people sell different things outside the gate. After the service ended, I told my brother I was thirsty, so he went to get me something to drink while I stood by the roadside waiting for him. A young man walked up to me. He had earrings, tattoos, and plaited hair (all of which personally turn me off). He asked if I was waiting for someone, and I simply said no. Immediately, he started looking me up and down, licking his lips. Then he tilted his head to stare at my backside with an expression that clearly said, "Wow, see what you carry." I kept my composure and ignored him. He asked for my phone number, but I didn't respond. Then he said, "I'm talking to you." As a lady, if you're a stranger, don't touch any part of my body while talking to me. Just as I was about to react, I heard my brother's voice. "Bịa, nwoke m, O gini? Get out of here" My brother thundered at him. The young man immediately changed his tone. "Senior man, good morning. Sorry." Honestly, this is such an embarrassing and disrespectful way some guys choose to approach a woman for the first time. Respect and good manners will always make a better first impression than harassment.

@Austeiin 😂😂😂

This my dude buzzed me and I was sharing his experiences about his pregnant wife's cravings 😂😂😂.... I don laugh taya. Reminds me of that particular Sunday evening around 11:00pm at night. My ijaw woman buzzed me about being hungry and she wanted peppered gizzard. The funny thing that night was that it was raining. I entered road that night looking for peppered gizzard around Okota. Eventually saw some peppered gizzard and started heading home (around 11:35pm). As I approached our estate gate I spotted a pregnant woman standing by the gate with umbrella and torchlight and I was like ‘who is this pregnant woman standing under the rain? What is she doing outside by this time of the day?’ As I move closer…. I couldn’t believe it was my wife 😭😭😭😫😫😩😩😩😩 I asked her ‘what’s going on ? Why are you at the estate gate ?’ She said ‘I haven’t seen or heard from you since you left so I decided to come look for you’ 😩😩😩😩 Inside the rain ????? I just weak that night 😩😩😩😩 I gave her the peppered gizzard and she started eating them from the gate. Before we got home the peppered gizzards don finish. THE END 😫😫😩😩😭😭

How your email finds you..

I don’t think 10% of Nigerians have bought a brand new car. Proper tear rubber. Current year they live in.

If you are making 100k profit everyday, you are doing well. Go slowly and steady.

I’ll go to another country and 1GB will last me throughout my stay but in Nigeria it is like 1hr. What’s really going on?

Lagos is flooding again. We have UNILAG, LASU, Pan-Atlantic University, thousands of engineering students, and hundreds of PhDs. Where are the practical engineering solutions? What exactly is the purpose of an engineering degree if our biggest engineering problems remain unsolved? Are our universities producing problem-solvers or just issuing certificates?

No matter how much I have, I am never adding another wife to my life. You can do it, ooo, it's your life, but if you see me trying it, just know i Don't know what i am doing😂😂

Can I take you back to childhood for a moment? 😄 Growing up, almost every neighborhood shop had this sign: “NO CREDIT TODAY. COME TOMORROW.” That sign used to confuse me. I kept thinking, “So… if I come tomorrow, they’ll finally give me credit?” 😂 It took me years to realize that tomorrow never arrives on that sign. Whenever tomorrow comes… it simply becomes today. 😭😂 Looking back, there was wisdom hidden in that joke. Some opportunities disappear because we keep postponing them until “tomorrow.” Tomorrow that never comes. Some debts grow because we believe tomorrow will always be there. Now I’m curious… What was something you saw or heard as a child that completely baffled you until you grew up? 😄

The wildest part about POVERTY is how much time it steals. Waiting for buses. Calling assistance offices. Comparing grocery prices. Fighting insurance. Sitting at laundromats. Being poor is a second job nobody pays you for.

I have a baby shower to attend tomorrow and the dress code is white. I just saw a white dress priced at N85,000. I've blocked the vendor. I'm not the mother of the baby 😭😭

One of the saddest things about Lagos is that we don’t even have proper public parks. You can’t just lie on the grass, look up at the stars, and enjoy a little peace without spending money somewhere. It’s the simplest things that make life beautiful, and we don’t even have those. 😭

You won’t know things are happening in this world if you don’t frequent these places 1. Courts 2. Hospitals 3. Police stations. You will hear all sorts of abnormal/unusual cases.

How were they rescued? Where are the kidnappers?

Just In: After weeks in captivity, the abducted pupils and teachers from Oriire, Oyo State, have reportedly been rescued by security agencies. A moment of relief for their families and community. 🙏🇳🇬

Omo! 😂 I was supposed to deliver a phone to a customer who bought one from me yesterday. But since 7 a.m., Lagos has been raining non-stop. So I called him to apologize for the delay and explain why I couldn't get to him on time. What I heard next shocked me. He said: "Daddy Dabz, no worry. I trust you well. Take your time. Even if this rain falls till Monday, I'll wait for you." I was confused, so I asked: "Baba mi... how you take know say I be Daddy Dabz?" 😂 The man laughed so hard and replied: "Before I called to order the phone, I had already done my research about you. You're a good man, a good husband, and a good father. No worry sir... YOU NO SMALL AT ALL." 🥹❤️ At that point, fear catch me small. 😂 So people are actually doing background checks before buying from me?....Omo... I think it's time to log out of all my social media accounts because some of una don carry me go where I no even know. 😭😂 Abeg... drop me down gently! 🤣