Leanne 🤮

Red onions are clearly fucking purple

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

“you look happier” thanks, it’s almost Halloween

I’m done with show my skin summer, I’m ready for hide my fat fall.

i have read the room and decided to be illiterate

not everyone at your workplace is your friend. do your job. fart on people. go home

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “Oh, look! A hummingbird!”

Creed had some bangers and we were so mean to them

i legitimately have no idea what anyone under 30 is saying anymore

Sorry I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

nobody: somebody uncle tonight:

idk, i think the elephant ties the room together nicely

I don't love America. I love hot dogs.

I’m not getting drunk nomore I been crying at the wrong grave for 2 hours who tf is Willie adams

every day is Independence Day when you decide to never have kids

the first person to ever throw up was probably like ok what the fuck

you’re telling me a chick peed in this salad

It’s officially “put it in reverse terry” season 🤣