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my last molecule of seratonin on a baby grand piano beating out the backing track of dancing on my own but with only middle c

taking name suggestions now for the one and only media company left once it’s eaten all the others

Picklebacks w/Suntory Toki & Grillo’s Classic….

so mad about how good the dyson blowdryer is

bf just referred to batman as nonfiction, dudes rock

“girl dinner”

@aurora_f awwww i hope you find peace soon

@sleepdeepriivee No that’s not it :(

I have a tiny part of a song stuck in my head and I can’t get the rest of it and it’s driving me mad. It’s just the words “information…information” The beginning of the line might be something like “you get what you want” and it’s entirely ungooglable

@hp4evers @BETTYDR4PER no lies there tbh

too bad succession never did anything fun like this

if paramore can perform misery business in the year 2023 then taylor swift can keep the lyrics to better than revenge the same

my bf in denial that he bought the monster for girls

@TroyMeaz u r a bad person, dawg

Three paragraphs to yell at me over one singular chicken finger at 6am. I can’t make this shit up 😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO

@emilykmay One time a kid stole my shovel and after that, my mom said sharing was my choice. I legit have trust issues with sharing to this day (i.e., “if you borrow it, I’ve mentally parted with it until it’s returned”). My potential kid(s) will share by choice

Sometimes I am out in public with my 2yo and we will see another young child holding a toy that belongs to them. My toddler will show interest in said toy, and the parent will immediately bark orders at their child to “share” their toy with my toddler. This stresses me out 😬

Heads up: The Supreme Court just agreed to take up the issue of whether people accused of domestic violence can own firearms.

i just learned that the microwave in my office does not beep and i am determined to teach this superpower to my home microwave

@Weerd_Science @rachelmillman They took some…four days on not sure how much is left…

@rachelmillman Do they have water?

the “who got eaten first” comments are so wild to me because they’ve been missing for like. 2 days. you do not need to eat another person at 2 days lmao

back in b 🤢 back in broo 🤢 back in broo 🤮🤮🤮🤮 I’m sorry i tried i couldn’t even get it ou🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

@BigTucsonDad this is a cool student, not a superbreak which is the cheap one.

What the hell is happening in the backpack market rn

@cyber_bunnie can’t relate

why is it a girl experience to have a guy always commenting n liking ur pics before y’all r dating but then as soon as u date then they drop the energy n stop interacting with it

@OneTruePoster i thought the baby in baby gronk came from “younger than og gronk.” now i am sad about everything i’ve ever heard about him, as well as that i have :(

I have learned that the woman Baby Gronk's insta refers to as his mom is some fetish model (Haley Layne) who is probably not his mom. which makes the post substantially weirder