chris (regular mode)

😕

@boobyhaver you are an actual menace

god i love purposely digging through my purse or intently looking at a filing any time i have to walk past my most hated coworker’s office. i like to imagine him looking up with hopeful eyes thinking he’s going to get a “good morning” from me.

@boobyhaver get they asses

you wanna ride my whole entire ass when i’m going 29 in a 25? ok! sounds good! guess i’ll just turn on cruise control and set it to 26! oh, and did i mention, it’s a single lane with no passing 😏😘

@boobyhaver dudes rock ❤️‍🔥

@sonofkreech to me this says that they did it on accident one time and then doubled down and made it their personality and they’re probably damaging whatever tissues or cavities this action employs

when you’re blowing your nose do you ever accidentally put some throat into it? imagine your mouth is closed and you laugh at something snarkily through your nose/throat— similar action but on accident? honestly painful. am i having more trouble with this than an adult should?

the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

happy birthday david lynch, a lover of creatures great and small

i have this it’s called my neighbors doing laundry

@BigpoopR one of the most reluctant likes i’ve had in recent memory

girls need heating pad for period becuz menstruating make da pussy cold

i think my dad and i were coworkers in a past life

@panasonicyouths pequeño pollo 😭😭

Chicken boy!!!

what i want for lunch doesn’t exist yet

@boobyhaver i always assumed the boundary line extended through the body and onto the back skin, so technically the ribs are on the inside

it seems crazy that my boobs are on the outside of my ribs but like, it obviously doesn’t make sense that they’d be on the inside

idk if i’m just high but marketplace is really sending me tonight

@connor_soup thank you for your service 🙏

went to Pennsylvania for the first time last week & drank a pack of this… now it’s expanding as soon as i get back to Illinois… my impact

@jollykerner i hear this in my head for 5-10 min every morning when i wake up

i heard this in chapel hill NC not two weeks ago

😕

people who take SSRIs: