SABP

@andrewhunterm You make a fusilli mistakes and end up in jail…

If he stays in a life of crime he might become a conchigliere

FREE BOOKS: I have a dozen proof copies of A Beginner's Guide To Breaking And Entering to give away! Just RT this tweet before Friday 12th April at 12 noon, when I will pick not one, not two, but TWELVE winners to receive their free signed and dedicated copy!

@UtilitaFootball @BrentfordFC @Cameron_Ross_

🎟 THE UF TICKET OFFICE IS OPEN 🎟 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 @BrentfordFC 🆚 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐨𝐧 😍 🎟️ x4 tickets 📆 Wednesday 3rd April 19:30 RT, follow us and tag a mate for the chance to win - winners will be notified by DM #BrentfordFC

@UtilitaFootball @BrentfordFC @DonaldoMurphy get the old band back together?

🎟 THE UF TICKET OFFICE IS OPEN 🎟 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 @BrentfordFC 🆚 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞𝐚 😍 🎟️ x4 tickets 📆 Saturday 2nd March 15:00 RT, follow us and tag a mate for the chance to win - winners will be notified by DM #BrentfordFC

@BrentfordFCW Hard to keep a clean sheet against this team

Match day! First team 🆚 Steyning Town 📍 Bedfont Sports Club 🕒 3pm kick-off B team 🆚 Tower Hamlets 📍Mile End Stadium 🕑 2pm kick-off #BrentfordFCW | #BrentfordFC

@JustinWelby Q. What’s the difference between your hat and a copy of your hat? A. One is Welby’s mitre and the other might as well be.

You haven’t seen disgusting until you’ve seen the nose bit of my glasses.

@BrentfordFC @GetCoinJar As a fan, I’d much rather Brentford stayed well away from the flim-flammery of cryptocurrencies and retained focus on objectively good things like a positive community ethos, thanks.

🎓 Test your crypto knowledge and you could win a signed Brentford shirt thanks to @GetCoinJar ❓ Take the quiz to be in with a chance: coinjar.typeform.com/brentford2022 Ts and Cs apply

The US far behind Europe still, and it’s no coincidence that the UK, where so much Russian money lives, has done so little. Corruption is the only word for it. If they expose it, they will be implicated themselves. twitter.com/DaveKeating/st…

🇺🇦"If there's any people who deserve a break, it's the Ukrainians" @dcsandbrook Their history is complicated, bloody, and sad. Our attempt to explain it all in an hour 👇 Apple: apple.co/3BIWMII Spotify: spoti.fi/3JRm4Y7 Others: bit.ly/3sXVCoU

@quantick Paw Patroll Over Beethoven

@Cocksworth Yep, the Ashes tour has been pretty bad so far

@Bob_Helpful @barneyronay Geordie unsure

@barneyronay Very good and balanced article Barney. I appreciate the scenes would suggest otherwise but there are many of us Newcastle fans who have deep misgivings about the takeover and are trying to work out what this means for our relationships with the club

A new castle for the kingdom theguardian.com/football/blog/…

@maxrushden @guardian_sport @jonawils @NatashaSHenry @JohnBrewin_ De Boer = Tom Cruise. Van Nistelrooy = Ben Affleck. Have the Czechs denied an A-list Hollywood biopic by eliminating the Dutch?

Recording the Netherland Czech bit of @guardian_sport FW at FT. @jonawils @NatashaSHenry @JohnBrewin_ any questions?

@HannahAlOthman Appealing to swing voters

Please enjoy this incredible election campaign video from Blackburn

@sallysomewhere @StroudStories Sam?

@AlexHorne the SEN school I work at has just finished an epic week-long Taskmaster as a fun way for pupils to reintegrate after lockdown. Thanks for the inspiration!

It’s Dry January that I feel sorry for.

@bglendenning @melissajrudd @PhilippeAuclair @AnnemarieBatson Should the Champions League introduce a possessive apostrophe to its name?