nave

Sitting in first class I got the middle seat Asked the guy next to me how he got rich He pointed at the small can of Coca-Cola on his tray He’s the CEO of Coke Amazing Asked the other guy how he got rich He gestured to the airplane He’s the CEO of Boeing Wow Then they asked me the same question Suddenly the plane hit a massive patch of turbulence Everyone panicked The engines stalled Then the plane took a nosedive We crashed violently into the ocean I turned to my seat mate “So basically my company conducts underwater search expeditions for crashed aircraft and boats,” I explained No response (he was deceased) Suddenly my team pulled me from the wreckage, but not before I reached into the wallets of my seat mates and grabbed their business cards Lesson: never miss a chance to network

KICKED OUTTA DA CENOBITES BECAUSE ALL MY CHAINS ARE ICED OUT CUBAN LINKS

there are sentences being created that have never been created before

Absolute class from Oasis tonight

I just think if people are being deliberately starved and you lie and say it’s not happening you should swing.

Right-wingers literally think our country is being 'invaded' and 'occupied' by random Somalis instead of the trillion dollar network of private banking cartels centralizing control making sure Americans cannot afford basic necessities or rent

anyone else a long shitter ™️?

dope views in the mornings now

@allenanalysis Trump and Epstein caught at Coldplay concert

@airbrendon straight up

@southofevan They don’t get it

me when my jokes on teams don’t hit

I KNOW LINDA MCMAHON NOT TALKING ABOUT PROTECTING GIRLS AND WOMEN IN THE LOCKER ROOM LOL

Oasis already putting out tracks from the first show back wild work (not hating I love it)

@eatingedibles God bless u

@southofevan Everything I do is for my silent fans

muting me would be crazy because there’s some good stuff here if you’re patient enough

Cracker of the day

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.