Still Bonus Dad, Now with Added Real Dad

@rathor7_ I knew yall hated clean water. I guess I should have assumed you'd hate fresh clean air too.

also do not forget to mention the disadvantages of trees

@LibertyCappy $10.75 x 3 = $32.25, not $32.75 I'm not gonna let a person who can't multiply by 3 tell me how much I should tip.

What is the right amount to tip?

@uncledoomer Why does the pig walk like this dude?

how do you even value a pig at half a million. i wouldnt even know what features to look for. "oh yeah thats a beautiful pig. id fuck that pig"

@Alonso_GD "Why do you hunt when you can buy meat at the store and nothing has to be murdered?" ass post

“You can’t grow crops in a 35 degree slope!” Indigenous people 500 years ago:

I'll drink to that

Finally at Phoenicia!

@Xenom0rph_M1LF What a dang coincidence, bestie.

@stabbatical According to you? And your opinion is less valuable to me than dirt.

It’s pretty misogynistic though

@ncorreyna Sending this to my wife. I was telling her yesterday that she tells me almost daily that her stomach hurts but I dint think she realizes it.

@thestinkeye Yeah but who're you to tell me not to?

I dunno who needs to hear this, but it's been coming up a lot lately. If you use the contraction, "who're," in a written sentence, it is very distracting to your message.

Imagine dying. What a pussy.

@vxunderground As annoying as all that sounds, be glad the warrant wasn't for something serious enough for the cops to no-knock it at 4am.

Dawg, like, 8 months ago this dude randomly knocks on my door and he's like, "are you John Strawberry?" (not the actual name he said). I'm like, "....No?" and he's like, "Well, do you know where he is or how to find him?" I reply, "I have no idea who that is, sorry." and then I go on about my business and I forget about it. Bro shows up again a few months later knocking on my door asking for John Strawberry. This time my wife answered the door and he's yapping about how he has to return something really important to him. My wife is like "??? Who the FUCK is John Strawberry ???" Fast forward, this whacko shows up AGAIN. This time he parks outside my house. He knocks on the door. He says his car broke down and he needs help. I'm like, "weren't you the dude asking for John Strawberry?" and he's like, "Oh, do you know John Strawberry? How can I contact him?" I'm like ??? This dude drives by my house now AT LEAST once a week. He rolls by real slow and takes a look and then leaves. Then the police show up asking for John Strawberry. They say they have a warrant out for his arrest and my home was listed as last known good address. DAMN YOU JOHN STRAWBERRY

@mattbramanti 1111 Louisiana is think

@mattbramanti I used to work security on that building with the open space up top. The men would almost always show their badges. The women would regularly give me shit. The Janet Jackson superbowl thing happened during that time, whatever year that was.

lunch hour Lindy walk

@tryhard_joe Front fell off.

I have determined the public is not aware of just how much barrel length can affect their precious suppressors. or how fast it’ll go from red to a hand grenade. Series is coming soon; tell your favorite brands to send their best cans.

Last week: "We're gonna need to make a squeeze plug for this job when it comes back from heat treat." "Yeah" Yesterday: "You're gonna have to make a squeeze plug for this job tonight." "Ok" Note left for me today along with a scrapped part: "Need to make a squeeze plug."

@STEAKandLEGGS69 @mnsibley One of his buttons is just speed dial for his dealer lol

@mnsibley Are you on drugs

🎵I was gonna doxx a homie, but then I got high. Then Kron and Shadzey followed me, but then I got high. Now I got pics of my couch, and I know I’m gonna die, die, die (why, man?) Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.🎵

@jess_ann_pin Uglylabiaminorahaversayswhat?

Men drive virgin teenage girls into risky surgery that leaves them unable to ever enjoy sex with their idiotic labia minora shaming. This needs to stop. Listen to the facts. The labia minora reflect estrogen levels and genetics, not sexual activity. Like breasts, they increase in size during puberty. They atrophy during menopause. Over 10 normative studies have been done. Labia minora size is not positively correlated with sexual activity or age after puberty. Female humans most likely to be insecure about their labia minora size are virgin teenage girls, not the “sluts” men mean to target with their shaming. Promiscuous women have been with men who have complimented their vulvas and have seen porn enough to know they are normal. Promiscuous women are aware of the pleasure their vulvas give them. Men are very unlikely to be able to shame any actual “sluts” with commenter about “roast beef.” They only hurt young women and girls, mostly virgins, with this misogynist rhetoric. Consider that in 1 study of women seeking labiaplasty, 66% were virgins and the average age was 23.

@Caroline_452 @NBCNews @NASCAR No he already bent the knee

@NBCNews @NASCAR has just made Daniel Dye more powerful than they can possibly imagine

NASCAR indefinitely suspends Daniel Dye — a second major penalty against the young driver — after he used what he called a "gay voice" to mock another racer during a livestream. nbcnews.com/news/us-news/n…

Do y’all know how hard I’ve had to work just to become kind of strong and kind of fat 😂