Steve Farrell

@johnnypproctor I can gain half a stone just looking at a curry. 😒

51 days ago I made a plan to gain half a stone. Thought it would be a brilliant wee project and not too dissimilar from Homer Simpson, when he wanted to get onto disability. And after almost two months of this caper … I have gained absolutely Scottish Fitba Association. Aye, sound.

@JamieAB77 @sxmafc You could start by getting 200 mates to wave their arms around in the air whilst looking like extras from Pink Floyd's The Wall.

@sxmafc If you’d let me know how you’d like me to amend my pre-match routine to suit you, that’d be great 👍

@LBC @ShelaghFogarty Haha! Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face...

As soon as I heard the news, I quit my job!' Caller Frankie tells @ShelaghFogarty that he's resigned to avoid paying taxes to support asylum seekers.

@JamieAB77 @ExtremeFootbal4 And this is why twitter needs laughing emoji reactions... 😁

@ExtremeFootbal4 I’d rather watch Ani Eluko read the dictionary from front to back than have these two massive twats back

Would you like to see Keys and Gray back on your TV???

@THENICKBRADLEY Nicklaus ahead of Woods is a boring take too.

A list devoid of nuance and understanding. Phil Mickelson ahead of Nick Faldo and Watson. Sergio Garcia ahead of Justin Rose. ? #golf

Last night at @penandpencilnq ‘Faz - Live @ Pen&Pencil Manchester 20th Feb '26’ by SteveFarrell (Faz) is on #SoundCloud on.soundcloud.com/BFFlmoya5nxYpA…

@JamieAB77 @BBCSport 😂

@stevef75 @BBCSport Don’t worry mate, he’ll be in prison in a years time

"We did it together." US President Donald Trump congratulates Gianni Infantino on World Cup ticket sales. According to the Fifa president, every game for this summer's tournament will be sold out.

@JamieAB77 @BBCSport That's you not going to the US on holiday for the next 3 years pal! 😂

@BBCSport Fuck off you narcissistic pedo cunt. He’s about to claim he’s made football popular now.

@JamieAB77 @WelsbyElton 😂

@WelsbyElton Nothing gets past you does it Elton

Looks like Big Sam.

@LBC @BenKentish Another glaring example of why the right to vote should be gained by passing a basic competency test.

'Mate, he's got longevity.' 'Because he doesn't allow free and fair elections!' @BenKentish is left astonished by caller Dean saying he'd rather have Vladimir Putin in charge of the UK than Keir Starmer.

@JamieAB77 @Nigel_Farage I can say for an absolute fact that I am More productive from home. I log in earlier and I log back in multiple times throughout the evening to deal with things that pop into my head. I've never worked longer hours in my entire life.

@Nigel_Farage You’ve nothing to back that statement up, nothing. The agility gained from a hybrid working model has made some businesses more dynamic and cost effective than ever, whilst allowing them to grow their catchment area for talent wider. Stick to xenophobia Nige.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. People are not more productive working from home. It’s all a load of nonsense.

I seem to have upset the @Nigel_Farage fan club - so let me be clear. This man sows hate, lies and division. He is a grifter and a conman. He does not represent the vast majority of Britons. RT if you agree P.s. multiculturalism is great.

@UTDSunny @SportsJOE_UK The league one play off final gives it a run an is arguably tougher to get to. 😂

@SportsJOE_UK The champions league final is greater than the Super Bowl.

The Superbowl or the World Cup Final? 51

@Hodyerweisht @fesshole 100% this! 😂

@fesshole Tell me you are Scottish without telling me you are Scottish.

Son turns 16 next week.Went into the toilet after him and saw a huge jobby staring up at me. Got emotional when I realised that I hadn't seen one of his jobbies, since he was a toddler.Then I had a rush of pride as I realised how big it was.Went through and gave him a big hug.

@GolfMonthly That depends, is he on insta? If so I reckon 373 yards.

How far does the average 50-year-old amateur golfer hit their driver? golfmonthly.com/features/how-f…

@WestwoodLee No one hates you. Pretty much everyone is just disappointed in you, understandably you took the life changing money but you didn't own it and instead doubled down on the growing the game bollocks. It's a crying shame you'll never be a Ryder Cup captain but that was your choice..

💯%

@johnnypproctor I recommended this show to someone today who had just finished the Sopranos. It was the first show that sprang to mind as a worthy follow-on.

Decided to start re-watching Gomorrah again and have some observations. It’s still utterly brilliant and one of the best TV shows ever made. Pietro Savastano’s scowl is still terrifying. Hearing them say ‘Fratm’ has now taken on a new level of meaning.

@Joey7Barton You were prosecuted for sustained online bullying you blert. Your lack of self awareness is even more ridiculous than your inflated view of your own intelligence.

Whatever people think of me personally, prosecuting speech is a dangerous road. A free country should be able to tolerate jokes, insults and unpopular opinions without reaching for the criminal courts. Britain can do better. 🐕🇬🇧💨

@johnnypproctor I'll tell you how good it is... the lads I go with every year, we all buy nextyear's tickets the following week when they go on sale and we're still dying from the previous weekend. It generally sells out in a few days. 🙂

@stevef75 Seen him at Defected Croatia but not Southport. Heard good things about the weekender though, Steve.

There’s an account over on IG posting random 100 best DJ clips and this one of Kerri Chandler has fried my brain a bit. Not so sure my head would handle seeing a DJ making the music by those means if I seen it when out.