🇨🇦SueCorvette🇨🇦 ❎

oh shit. came home & there is a giant cat in the bed

I’m in my bedroom watching a horror movie while I play with dinosaur rings suddenly when it hits me … how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”

@61dartman Clearly 😂

@suecorvette Who ever invented the star shaped one is an asshole.

I just want to meet someone who’s as considerate as the guy who named the flathead screwdriver and as confident as the guy who named the Phillips

@FaceMoss You’re right — you did blow my mind

@suecorvette I’ma blow your mind: it’s the same dude! His name was Philip Flathead and he revolutionized screws and the driving thereof. (I made that up!)

trying to get cows to walk down stairs is a terrible way to find out cows can’t walk down stairs

@SDSuperCharger Ahhh there he is!

@suecorvette Look under the 12!

Help! I can’t find my dog anywhere!

@Nero37AD @cheygoulet Beats the hell out of me 🤷‍♀️

@suecorvette @cheygoulet Oh no. Where could he be? 😆

@HockeySkates3 Exactly!

@suecorvette Clearly your dog isn’t under the glass table top or you’d be able to see the pup! 😅😋

@lucyshow11 The smoking area was in the Center of my high school and when you walked down the hallway you were in a fog of smoke. It was insane! i also remember getting caught smoking in 3 different bathrooms in one day We smoked there cause the smoking area was too smokey 😂

Can you believe this??! 😅

@omegamidnight13 Well no, that would be a rag franchise

@suecorvette But was it a Sham-wow?

I almost bought into a pillowcase franchise but turned out to be a sham

Sorry I'm 6 hours late, I was behind someone buying lottery tickets at the gas station

If you're ever feeling a little bit down, just take a look in the mirror and that should give you a good laugh. You're welcome

@wonderwill @urmumsausername Been there 😂

@suecorvette @urmumsausername I found the kit, but the screwdriver doesn't work because I can't see the top of the screw because my glasses are broke. Oh crap I dropped the screw.

My glasses are broken but I’ve got a glasses repair kit except I can’t find it because my glasses are broken

@SephInPhilly @urmumsausername Absolutely! Bring all your toys 😂

accidentally called my boss mom and now she refers to my paycheque as my allowance

@FaceMoss I am! Send help

@suecorvette Oh no! You’re stuck in an endless loop!

@RonaldPSeyb Ah you’ve met her

@suecorvette Definitely not “the cool Mom.”

People say "make yourself at home" but then you change the locks when they go out and they get all cranky about it

You can't scare me, I grew up being irrationally worried about quicksand