Matthew Settle

Sorry I woke you up little dude🤙🏼

Looking back this should have at least 5 likes

Looking back this should have at least 4 likes

“Long sleeve shorts”👖

If the groundhog comes out and gives 5 BIG BOOMS we get 6 more weeks of winter.

@KiidklutchAyman Happy Waffle House Employee Veterans Day

Waffle House employees gotta be recognized as national Heroes

Texans: yo we need our stimmys so we can pay our bills The government: what if we just make the bills cheaper? Turns off power* #texaspoweroutage

Doge

BREAKING: Tom Nook has passed @elonmusk as wealthiest person with $185B bells. #acnh #ElonMusk

I’m going to give 5 people that retweet this tweet $10,000 each to celebrate Christmas! (Make sure you follow me so I can dm you if you win!). I will show proof!

Y’all probably didn’t know this, but this tiny lil pocket on your jeans is for your second stimulus.

My Bitcoin price target is $238,855. I arrived at this price target by googling the distance between the earth and the moon and converting it from miles to dollars.

@tkelce @cheetah

@PatrickMahomes Name one of your plays “two pretty best friends” so you know the other team hasn’t seen it.

Me: Why did my alarm not go off? My alarm:

My first meme for the public. #iykyk @BlenderBottle Hey Blender Bottle, just know all I buy are your products. No one hoards Blender Bottles better than me.

Had the pleasure of working with Mr. John Fletcher from @chiproytx @RepChipRoy office this past week. Can’t say enough about how responsive and professional he was! It’s an amazing feeling knowing that your representative and his office is working for you and you’re being heard.

The joker, but the reason he became the joker was because he was trash at Warzone and his friends stopped playing with him. @PatelHershey #warzone #dontletthisflop

I wonder how many Coronas got their limes when me and the bois we’re together.

When you’re using in the bathroom stall and someone comes in tryna open it

@PatelHershey Texas, India?

Old guy at work: where are you from? Me: Texas Old guy: no like originally Me: Texas Old guy: ....😳😳

Me: I’ll try the Cabernet Market Street lady: “it’s really dry and ya know it wants to be sweet but the pepper... just won’t let it”