taylor ell

and for the lady, perhaps a fucking break

my friends hung out without me tonight

Fuck your ChatGPT, if I want to see a caricature of myself I will make the effort to go to the seaside and pay £15 for a cruel man to give me body dysmorphia like we’ve always done.

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.

U let them shenan once they’ll shenanigan

"You gossip too much" God forbid a girl collects other people’s data and shares it with her friends for their entertainment.

“But that’s neither here nor there” is a terrifying thing to say. Where is it

inside out if it was filmed inside my head

@elysenorth_ @koi_takleefff Everytime we need fo read a menu or book a holiday it all calls for one thing and one thing only

@koi_takleefff @tayellender ‘get the iPad out’

People watch the Transformers movies for the robots. I watch them for the stupidly hilarious human scenes.

🍺 HAPPY BIRTHDAY: A huge happy 5️⃣0️⃣th birthday to United legend @EllenderPaul. We hope you have had a great day… 🧡🖤

People after watching Joker 2

Sheridan Smith has announced she will star in a new ITV drama called SO SALLY CAN WAIT about an Oasis fan who struggles to get tour tickets even though she queued on Ticketmaster for nine hours

Me to that baby who wants to go the four seasons in Orlando

You're not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

“i was born in the wrong generation!” not me, if i couldn’t google a restaurant menu days in advance then i would die

they should invent a rest for the wicked

👋 @EllenderPaul will be Saturday's Matchday VIP at the Jakemans Community Stadium...