fake rothko

Hi, American @AmericanAir . Paid for priority so my bag isn’t checked. Bags is checked. Politely ask if any space left bc bag will get damaged. No, just file a claim. Past claim denied bc dents are “ok” Gate agents didn’t check to see if there’s space, but estimated. Behold:

swag gap this, swag gap that, can we talk about the wage gap for a minute?

Is San Francisco real

do people with 900k net worth say they’re a millionaire like 5’11 dudes

sorry i don’t have class/status anxiety about which part of the plane i sit in

@atllam @JetBlue thanks for the sage advice

@thefakerothko @JetBlue If you can afford an FPM then you should make sure you at least fly business class

hi @JetBlue — you made me check my carry on even though I repeatedly an respectfully said that it is not meant to be checked and it will get damaged #jetblue

@JetBlue Hi @jetblue got back to me saying that a visual inspection at a time of arrival was necessary to establish the claim. I squeezed 10,000 things into a carry on was so that I could get off the plane and get to my meeting on time, not stay back for inspections. Please advise.

@thefakerothko We're sorry to hear this! Please file a baggage claim here: bit.ly/41Z3Gae

girl's night out. 3 martinis in deep each. I'm explaining why I got back with my ex for the 100000th time.

me when I walk around the house in a beautiful gown and a ghost slaps me across the face

this is so hot

nobody has a busier schedule than a trust fund kid working for his family office

Bisexual men

Oh i'm sure

dudes be like "my costume is a performative male" and it's just their usual outfit + they're holding a book

"idk why people are celebrating halloween on two weekends when it's on a friday this year" it's an alcoholic thing

Walk into a natural wine bar in Bushwick & you'll find seven men who look exactly like this

me: my hands are shaking taylor swift: LIKE HOW MY LEGS SHAKE WHEN TRAVIS- me: *on my way to the bottom of the hudson river*

pitbull is undefeated