paul bassett davies

Confuse future archeologists by burying your pets in elaborate military uniforms.

Your regular reminder that there’s no vaccine against stupidity and if there were it wouldn’t work because the stupid people would refuse to take it.

Very disappointed. My plan to sell shares in Gianni Infantino's soul has been thwarted by the discovery that it's already wholly owned by a venture capital firm run by the well known entrepreneur B. ELzebub.

It's a fact that we share 98% of our DNA with chimpanzees. But do they share anything with us? No way. They won’t even give you a bite of their banana. If you try to insist on it, the zookeepers take their side, along with the police and the courts. The whole system is rigged.

@Leejay1963 Everyone is free to see what they want. I believe that when humans make art, the process is an integral part of the art. AI's process is mechanical and sterile, and I think it shows.

I'd be inclined to agree with that in part. I know that you weren't originally expressing an opinion as to the detection (or not) of AI art, you were saying that you think it's soulless and invalid, which is a respectable point of view, albeit a little baseless. I drifted off-piste a little with my comment. But my point was that it has to be recognised in order to make the statement that its soulless, and some people don't need to recognise it or detect it, all it would take to reject it would simply be to know that it's AI. I think that's the crux of people's dislike. They reject the work simply because they know how it was made and assume that AI art has no aesthetic value, and saying that is too absolute. The key distinction is between "I see no value in it" and "it has no value." The first is an opinion. The second pretends everyone else's response doesn't count.

AI art is boring not because it's limited but because it can do anything. All ability, no imagination. Lacking a guiding artistic spirit it’s meaningless, and as tedious as people telling you their dreams or drug experiences. Without connection or shared feeling, there's no art.

@Leejay1963 Moot. The more you see of it once, the easier it is to detect AI.

The thing I find fascinating, especially now, is that people wouldn't know the difference between AI art and human art if tested. They would distrust a test to determine between them, possibly refusing to choose, based solely on the fact that they wouldn't be able to distinguish between them if they weren't told the origin. So your point is ultimately philosophical rather than perceptual.

Amazing investment opportunity. I’m selling shares in the local pub’s darts tournament. They don’t know about it yet but I’m pretty sure Gianni Infantino will be interested, and some of Trump’s family. Main thing is I’m passionate about darts tournaments, whatever they are.

Today’s Beauty Tip: Reduce the visible signs of ageing by smashing your glasses before looking in the mirror.

Those ancient Greek soldiers would have been pretty nervous hiding inside that giant wooden horse, but it must have been as dry as a tinderbox in there, and I expect that’s why they weren’t allowed to smoke.

@SimonLeggX You need an audio commentary

@thewritertype Hmm, there was a women in the checkout in front of me yesterday with some elaborate writing tattooed on her arm and even with some innocent neck stretches I still couldn't read them. Inconsiderate, I call it.

Why get elaborate tattoos if you don’t want people to look at them? Anyhow, sorry about what happened in the sauna. I didn’t have my reading glasses.

@RonnieGolden1 Anthem of the flat earth society.

@thewritertype Yeah, but Barry’s made a couple of discoveries… youtube.com/watch?v=ADAXMy…

There are no words.

Why call it an epic poem when “multiverse” is right there.

@RonnieGolden1 That’s all they have, though.

@thewritertype And that’s where you’re wrong! youtube.com/watch?v=hKyrDy…

@edgarwright The brilliant inventiveness and surrealism of some of The Goodies, especially the visual/silent movie/slapstick sequences, puts the show in a class of its own. Sadly the BBC have steadfastly refused to screen much-deserved repeats.

Am so sad to read that Bill Oddie has passed away. Although he later became equally famous as the BBC’s resident ornithologist, he had been a comedy hero of mine since my earliest days of watching television, as one of 'The Goodies'. The show was hugely influential on me: its glorious, go-for-broke silliness, almost like a kids’ companion to Monty Python, made it one of my earliest comedic touchstones. I loved Bill’s anarchic energy, musical brilliance and willingness to do absolutely anything for a laugh. And, it must be said, as the shortest member of the trio, he spoke to me. 'The Goodies' was always part of a direct line for me, from 'The Monkees', to 'Monty Python's Flying Circus', to 'The Young Ones', right up to our own 'Spaced', in terms of the wild freedom of the television format. I’ll never forget the giddy thrill of watching this opening sequence as a kid (the theme sung by Bill himself), and the resulting rush of total absurdity filling the box. Farewell to a true Goodie. RIP.

Nothing broadens the mind of a climate change sceptic like their holiday home in the Dordogne being on fire.

Your reminder that Big Ben is the name of the inventor. The correct name for the iconic tower with the clock is Big Ben's Monster.

As you and your family flee from whichever part of the world is currently on fire, remember that manmade climate change is a hoax. Apply that knowledge to your third degree burns, it’s sure to soothe the pain.

Then they came for the therapists. [long silence] And how did that make them feel? [long silence] Sorry, I’m afraid that’s all we have time for today.