Timi Patterson

@View_Bayelsa @KingErefitei @NativePreacher1 @AlfredKemepado @BrayelaLayefa @thisisbayelsa @ebafegha @LannisterTC @MicroSmoothie @govdouyediri @Wizarab10 This is amazing 👏

353 JAMB SCORE! 🔥 We caught up with Stephen Digieneni Emmanuel who is from Brass Local Government Area in Bayelsa. Stephen is a student of Faith Comprehensive International Secondary School, Okutukutu, Yenagoa. He aspires to be a Mechatronic Engineer. 👷 Kindly reshare!

@Saintcharles_e @NostalgicVibeNG 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣why you no just call the country

@NostalgicVibeNG Well, its not design for home use but +234 is a unique place with unique humans, so anything works.

If you live in a Band A area with constant light, yet you have 1, 2 or even 3 Ox fans in your apartment and you still complain that your prepaid units are finishing fast even without AC. Lol, jokes on you. Want to know why? Ox fans come with copper coils that consume between 100-160W depending on the speed. Multiply by two or three… now you know why your units dey vanish. If you want to be energy efficient, you already know what to do

@dr_bandak Congratulations to you and yours truly.

Today is our anniversary! We met as students at the University of Ghana in 2011… Military wedding in 2015….. W𝐚𝐥𝐤ing 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝s was probably a warning. 2026: Both of us connected as Johns Hopkins Alumni —— After years of marriage, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐃-𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧. My wife is usually right. ➤ Painful finding. ➤ Strong evidence ( p-value < 0.01) ➤ Repeated across multiple household settings. 😂 One thing I still believe deeply: A strong marriage is not built by one person shrinking so the other can shine. It is built by two people, making room for each other to grow. ——-

@GodsgreatG Attention details

If you notice one thing in this video, it’s that I’m cleaning nonstop. To be honest, I was doing it subconsciously; that’s just how deeply my job has rewired me. When I’m in the kitchen at home, you’d probably wonder if I’m even using any utensils. The moment a plate, bowl, or spoon is empty, it’s washed. I’m wiping down surfaces as I go. If someone falls to the floor, I wiping immediately, not later. It’s a habit that reflects into every corner of my life. In my line of work, a clean environment isn't just about aesthetics; it's about safety and precision. Our jobs don’t only pay us, they become a part of who we are. Tell me, how has your profession influenced your habits? What’s that one habit you do at home purely because of your job?

@dr_bandak 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 it's a sea egg

Is that an egg on a seafood platter? Ghana is taking this egg thing to another level.

@UnkleAyo Wetin be this na 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I do have a shameless apology to make to Nigerian women. "What can I buy for my boyfriend?" If I've ever trolled you for buying boxers, please forgive me. Buy these men boxerrsssssss. 😭 Your Nigerian men partners treat boxers like leg chain. It doesn't come off. 😭

@TRex1701 @DocPriyamMD 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@DocPriyamMD 😂😂 Check this.

Patient: Doctor, my feet are swollen and I am feeling breathless. ​Me: Any BP or Sugar issues? ​Patient: No, nothing. I’ve always been healthy. ​Me: (Looking at the labs: Creatinine 8.4, HbA1c 12.1%) Your sugar is very high and your kidneys are failing. Are you sure you’ve never been diagnosed? ​Patient: Oh, that. 20 years ago a doctor said I had "sugar." He gave me some tablets. ​Me: Did you take them? ​Patient: I took them for a month. My sugar went down, so I was cured. Why take medicine if I don't feel sick? ​Me: You haven't checked it in 20 years? ​Patient: No need, doctor. I stopped eating sweets and started walking. I thought the sugar was gone. ​Me: And the swelling? Patient: I thought the "urine was getting stuck". Can you just give me one tablet to fix the kidneys today? I have a wedding to attend. Me: 👇

@RichyRich4040 @UnkleAyo @Wizarab10 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@UnkleAyo @Wizarab10 Me and my family are not useless in Jesus name Amen

Y'all are a bunch of useless people on here, I agree - including myself. But I really do respect Twitter as a platform. No other platform is raising 40M & 25M on two different occasions for complete strangers. In the midst of all the toxicity, you bastards are humane.

@BlackBoiGeneral @Imma1000009 😅😅😅😅😅 no difference o

@Imma1000009 Because of octopus abi na squid How this thing take different from aboki suya?

We don't have food in Nigeria Palm Sunday Mr president Elon Tony Stark Cubana Iron Condemn School Portal Metal scrap Deeper holy week Nigerians Active No Kings

@nation1404 @instablog9ja True

@instablog9ja Lack of sexual discipline can take away a lifetime of hardwork within 5mins

Former Teacher Arrested For Having S+x Multiple Times With Her Student Inside Her Car A former middle school teacher in New Jersey has been arrested following serious allegations from a past student who claims their inappropriate s+xual relationship began while he was still under her care. Ashley Fisler, 36, previously taught social studies at Orchard Valley Middle School in Washington Township, Gloucester County, between 2014 and 2023.  According to reports, the former student, now an adult, told authorities that the relationship took place in 2021 while he was still a pupil. The alleged victim only came forward in early 2026, stating that the encounters happened multiple times, including inside her car and within the school environment. Investigators later uncovered text messages between both parties, which reportedly supported parts of his claims. Fisler is no longer employed by the school and has since left the teaching profession. After her departure, she started an apparel business focused on unofficial sports merchandise and also worked as a business administrator for a landscaping company. Authorities have now charged her with multiple serious offenses, including six counts related to assault involving a minor, as well as charges tied to child welfare and misconduct in office. If convicted, she could face significant prison time.

@the_beardedsina 😅😅😅😅😅😅

Please don't judge me😞 2025, I had a Video shoot with a Media house. Shoot was in the morning/afternoon , after hours of shoot and being tired , I was driven to my hotel which was at Lekki. Later that night, my friend pulls up and says. Hey Sina! Let's go get a meal. I said sure. I pride myself as being a gourmet and I always love to try new meals. So he suggested we visited, one of the luxurious restaurants which was located at Admiralty Way, Lekki. My friend is also friend with a very popular content creator in Nigeria, so I met him at the restaurant, few talks. He asked what are we getting? Well, I go.. I'm not sure, He says. His fave is one special spaghetti..something.. something... A very fancy name That we should try it. Okay.. I guess if he made the recommendation, I'd believe since he does food content on Instagram, etc We got our meal and I headed back to my hotel. I decided to eat, a friend was with me. Few spoons. I noticed the food tasted somehow but I kept my cool. It was so expensive I was using side eye to look at my friend to see maybe he too will complain, by the time, he too couldn't take it. He just blurted.. He said Bro!! This food is tasting spoilt , I said yes. I thought it was me only . We had to trash the rest of the meal. Next day, My driver picked me up from the hotel in the morning because I was travelling to another state. I was in the car in Lagos , I felt a little Boborygmi but I thought. Oh well! Just the tummy having its pangs. By the time, we got to that Mowe side. It was as if there was Battle of Waterloo in my stomach. I sipped a little water. What was going on? Another 20 minutes or thereabouts, haaa. The movement in my stomach was increasing. I was sweating, then...then.. It was as if a liquid wanted to come out from my Anus Haaaa... Liquid poo on the highway. I mustered all my power, I used force to squeeze my butt ( you know what it mean) I tightened it like spanner. I was redirecting so much pressure to stop the poo from coming out. Haaa. It was as if the watery poo was determined to trickle out. I had to tell the driver to stop. You won't believe on Lagos- Ogun expressway. I had diarrhoea and was stooling. Damn. I had to run to a bush beside the road. It was as if my water burst. The kind of poopoo Yorubas call Igbe Olomi sororo was dripping out. The mound of watery poo that came out, you'd think I was making an ice cream platter for a patter. I stooled to the point that I was weak I had bottle water which I used to wash up. I had never felt like that , apparently I had suffered from Food poisoning, I was weak in the car and after we got to our destination I had to get medical treatment Till date, stooling in a bush on Lagos Ogun express high way is my most embarrassing moment Please don't judge me😞

@akido256 @thatfirstlady 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣that's the spirit! Why go looking for trouble 🤦🏾‍♀️

@thatfirstlady There’s no way I’m going to awaken what is asleep.

No matter how well you feel,go to the hospital and do any kinds of medical checkups.😊

@0xCanva @EverythingCar_X True

@EverythingCar_X Then you buy the car, and see others with better cars, your confidence drops. Any confidence that needs material things to develop will go away after bigger material things.

As a man get a car today if you're financially stable for it. It's worth it. Your self confidence will increase x100 if you get car even if na corolla/civic

@Angelbeauties77 @EverythingCar_X Very nonsense mentality.

@EverythingCar_X Everything say here shows you’re in Nigeria and has Nigeria mentality. You need to leave Nigeria to upgrade.

@king_pearxe @KBC_Facilitator 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@KBC_Facilitator Is this how you behave outside?

The female body is highly reactive to stress, far more than we can imagine. If you're a woman and living in a constantly stressed state due to work, past trauma, toxic relationships, fertility pressure, or feeling completely lost about your own body. They will manifest themselves in ways such as your menstrual cycle not being regular, anxiety, lack of quality sleep, and changes to your appetite. Do not underestimate the impact stress can have on your body if you're a woman

@Tspiceskitchen I couldn't agree more. That decoration thing is a waste of time.

I just started learning how to bake & omg… I’m stressed! 😩 I spent hours smoothing buttercream, piping designs, and stressing over neat edges… only to cut the cake & scrape the icing off immediately after!!😭 What’s now the point of decoration?? Honestly ehn... cakes are better served naked… all that icing just feels unnecessary. Who else agrees? 😟

@Drweloveu What if you are getting it all wrong? What if the U.S and Israel knows this and had always wanted war which was prevented by the wise leader 🤔. In all, we pray for peace, world peace ✌️ 🙏

@greatone_inme @GodsgreatG You are wrong, its been there for ages with the riverside people. The fishermen . It is interesting discovery to us that whilst we enjoy ours with fish, they enjoy theirs with groundnut. That's the beauty of Nigeria diverse cultures ❤️

@GodsgreatG Something that was invented as a snack, PH turn am to full course meal.

While en route to Ogenebode in Benin, Edo State, for the first time we stopped at a bole stand to buy bole. As a PortHarcourt boy, I know how bole is served in Port Harcourt: roasted plantain and yam, roasted fish, with oil and pepper sauce. But to my greatest shock, there was no fish and no sauce. Instead, they served it with groundnuts. My question is: why would anyone eat dry roasted plantain with groundnuts? 😩😩 This is agony!

@ucyberry It is illicit funds spent by most people.

It has been 6 Months since I moved back from the UK, to Nigeria and let me tell you the honest truth… living in Nigeria will humble you and teach you at the same time. First of all, poor customer service has been normalised. The attitude, the delays, the lack of apology. Sometimes you will be looking at the person like “are you not meant to be serving me?” 😅 But it is so common that people don’t even react anymore. When you finally see good customer service, you will be shocked. Things spoil easily here. Light issue affects everything. Appliances don’t last the way you expect. Food can spoil quickly if you are not careful. In Nigeria, you don’t buy one of anything. You buy backup for your backup. Because if one fails, what is your plan B? Hyperinflation is real. Something you bought last month has increased this month. Budgeting is not straightforward. You have to be flexible. If you are too rigid with money here, you will just be stressing yourself. Another thing is the cultural shift. Nigeria is not the Nigeria we grew up in. Everything feels global now. The way people dress, talk, spend money. Social media has increased pressure. Everybody wants to look soft and successful. One thing that surprised me is that I expected people to be angrier because of the economy. I thought there would be more visible frustration. But Nigerians? Weddings are still loud. Restaurants are still full. Clubs are still packed. People are still outside. The resilience is different. Tipping culture is strong too. Car washers at hotels, attendants, gate men. If you’re not ready to tip, you will look somehow. It is almost expected in certain spaces. And the balling culture is loud. Luxury cars everywhere. Big spending. But if you look deeper, you will realise not everybody you see is actually rich. Sometimes it is just lifestyle packaging. Now let us talk about comfort. If you want steady generator, constant AC, security, good water, domestic help, good schools, quality food… one million naira can disappear quickly. Upper middle class lifestyle in Nigeria is expensive. Comfort is not cheap here. Cutting costs is a real skill. You have to know where to splurge and where to manage. You are literally paying for convenience. Paying to avoid stress. Six months later, this is my honest take. Nigeria is not easy. It is chaotic. But it is alive. It is vibrant. And if you have money and structure, you can create your own comfort. Cc: Nkemdilim Melissa

@HonestarsenalF The members shouldn't do juju because he is doing it on their behalf to cleanse whatever😁 more like carrying the cross

I stopped going to church the day my friend and I went to his dad’s place, and to my surprise, I met our pastor there. They were performing some kind of “redemption” for him with a big catfish on his head and some items too. He didn’t really know me as a member though, so I just walked past him. I even took a picture of him, but I’m going to let it go and not post him on social media. But on Sundays, he will be preaching to his member not to do juju but he’s doing it.