tipsy

Yesterday I had the privilege of curtain raising for the stand up comedy legend @IAMRAPCHA. Thank you @Mwafreeka #rawnuncut4

Having fun hosting @Punchlinenbo

Host duties

Your enemy isn't laziness or poverty. You are not lazy or poor. Your enemy is distraction.

The Kapenguria 6 history repeating itself with this perfect alignment 🤣🤣🤣

MAJAMAA,we are all pushing the hashtag #RejectFuelPrices If this post appears on your TL, reply with the hashtag #RejectFuelPrices .

@Punchlinenbo @_shihembetsa @Ingregnito @ov04l @Kibuyu45 @kevoh_mode @arnold_saviour My favorite segment

Winedown Wednesday is the place to be! Catch the best open-mic standup comedy at Two Grapes, Kilimani every Wednesday from 7 PM. 🎟 FREE Admission 📍 George Padmore Road 📞 Bookings: 0701 012 345 / 0707 313 131 Don't miss out—we get fully booked! 🔥 #nairobi

Dawa ya kunguni ni kuchoma kila kitu, kunyoa kipara na kuhama uchi.

Banditry is 1% catte rustling and 99% arms and mineral smuggling.

They may have banned political dramas in schools, but the real voters are now performing real comedy.

Kenyans have effectively suspended all fighting and boxing competitions until after the 2027 elections. Hatuwezi kubali WANTAM atumie ngumi kama campaign platform. Kama anataka vita sana, aende apigane na akina Wanga na youth leader.

Lakini Wakenya sisi huwa matacore sana. One man appoints an IEBC of his liking. He buys the media and shuts down those he can’t control. He has Langat firmly in his grip of the police. He is already propping up his friends and kinsmen for the Chief Justice position ahead of 2027. He has opened the borders wide and is issuing IDs to foreigners like sweets. Halafu sisi tunangoja 2027. I pity us.

An organized minority will always triumph over a disorganized majority. The universe rewards order, not noise, chaos and haphazard energy.

In the 1940s , the colonial government introduced destocking measures in the Pokot country to reduce the number of cattle. However, the Pokot, under the leadership of a blind prophetess called Chepusia who gave them charms against the white man, resisted the exercise. The Pokot valued their cattle so much that they rejected the money that was being offered to them by the government to get rid of 10% of their cattle. But, the government was equally determined to implement its destocking measures. One way of pushing the measures through was to curtail the influence of prophetess Chepusia, whose charm incited the Pokot to resist. The Seventh Day Adventists Church was in the very early days of doing eye cataract operations and used to operate a mobile hospital in the area. To prove to Chepusia that the white man's magic was stronger than her charm, they took her to the hospital where her cataracts were removed, and she was able to see again. Next, with the Pokot having refused to accept the money that was being offered to them to get rid of 10% of their cattle, the government came up with a different tactic.Individual Pokots were to slaughter their excess cows then take the tails to the police station at Kapenguria as a confirmation. But the Pokot were clever. They were simply cutting off the tails of their cows and taking them to the Police station as confirmation of slaughter. The police and the administration received so many tails that they almost believed that the destocking campaign was becoming a success. Little did they know that they were being fooled by the Pokots. The reality only dawned on them went they went on a patrol in Pokot villages. They discovered that the Pokots still maintained huge herds of cattle but with no tails. Because of this, the District Commissioner and Inspector Mike White, the officer in charge of Kapenguria police station, decided to conduct regular in the area. But there was something strange. During patrols, they always found stick barriers laid across the path by the Pokot. Investigations by the Special Branch revealed that the sticks were to put a curse on the District Commissioner and Kenya Police officers in the area for overseeing the destocking campaign. They sticks had been laid there by the Pokot under the instructions of Prophetess Chepusia, who advised that the White man would be forced out by calamities in a short time period. According to Inspector Mike White, within a week or ten days of the patrol, the District Commissioner was kicked in the chest by his horse and suffered several broken ribs and flown out to Kitale. Then, two European Police Officers leading a General Service Unit team in the destocking campaign went down with a severe illness that they had to be hospitalised. White himself went down with sand-fly fever and was taken to Kitale Hospital. Only the District Officer remained in the camp. While recalling the incident, White posed this question "So, does African Magic really exist?" "Perhaps," he replied himself. ~ Levis odhiambo

Nimeanza kupika ugali mayai 8: 20pm na it's 8: 26pm na nishakula bana. This is excluding time nimeosha vyombo,siet. King of all meals,hail to nyumba yangu haina mlango and steamed corn flour.

@mbiti_mwondi The difference is the same 😂

Before Omusala vs After Omusala The concentration of wisdom here is too high ❤️🔥

Kalenjins who smoke weed are a gift from A puff😂